Original Art Sundays no. 370: Sharp Invitations: Esther's Hands: Interlude, last page

 And now for the conclusion of the graveyard interlude.

So I made it home after a mostly homeless summer, and started another chapter. How I came to the homeless status is part of the Dad story, coming after the Mother story. College was completely unexpected, a new adventure. 

While working on this, I'm prepping several projects for print and sale at Autoptic in August. Quite excited about this!

Story notes: there were other people there when I walked in the door, notably Grandma and a cousin I'm particularly fond of- almost a sister, really. But in the interest of narrative flow, I streamlined it a bit. Again, no overt trans content this week, though that remains the overarching theme of the book.

Along those lines, I'm only including one page of my junior college years. That's next week, a moment of timidity. 

Art notes: used gouache for the whiteout where necessary. Graphite stick for gray values.The scan is- what's the technical term? - oh, yeah. Crap. A lot of the subtle graphite textures are washing out.  I will rescan on better equipment ASAP. Restore gray values and pump the background tones. The lines are very light. This page is all graphite and markers.I worked from photo reference on panels 1 and 3, and took poses from the graphic novel Left Turns by Joshua Ross on panels 5 and 6. If you haven't read that book, do yourself a favor. It's a great study of quiet intimacy and introspection. 

I really like the embrace in panel 3. Overall, I'm pleased with this page. Decent flow, tight storytelling for such a simple yet eloquent moment.

Tools used on this page:

• Papers: tracing paper, various sketchbooks, Canson Bristol board
  
• Pencils: Lyra 2B graphite stick, 4B lead and holder, 2B Ticonderoga classic, tech pencil and 4B lead
  
• Erasers: kneadable, vinyl eraser, Click eraser
• Hand Tools: 6" and 14" straightedge, triangle, T-square, French curves
• Inking tools: Tight Spot correction brush, Holbein white gouache
  
• Markers: Copic 0.25, 0.3, 0.8, 1.0, Faber Castell brush, LePen brush, Copic Brush and Micron small brush
  
• And of course, Photoshop

Next: a moment of cowardice watching TV.

Original Art Sundays No. 376: Sharp Invitations: Esther's Hands, p. 14

Well, we're back! It's been hectic, but I have a couple new pages to post. I've had this done for a couple weeks, but there's finally time to post!

First, the next page of Esther's Hands.

Story notes: for most of this chapter, the story is random memories of Mother, mostly related to trans stuff, since that's the main focus of the book. Some other material finds its way in. I suspect I will reorder these pages before going to press. As for the memories, don't we all remember people by random events? Some little thing happens that reminds one of something, which reminds us of...

This moment was quite stirring for me. It was one of those times when you realize that you can always learn from your Mother. I was in my mid 40s and was sure I knew everything.

Craft notes: Kept this one simple. The constant challenge of keeping dialogue heavy pages visually interesting applies here. The personal issue is that the living room looks quite sparse in contrast to its true cluttered/chaotic status. A conscious choice to edit reality for the sake of the narrative. I like the way Mother is drawn in panel 3. Just a few well place lines show so much age. I opted for fabric textures and graphite on clothing to give the page weight. 

Not doing an equipment list on this one. Pretty standard, much like previous lists. Page turned out pretty clean, so minimal Photoshop was used, mostly levels and curves to get the light/dark balance down.

Next: a strange interlude.

Original Art Sundays No. 369: Sharp Invitations: Esther's Hands, p. 11

 Once more, here we go! Some delays due to personal issues, now mostly resolved.

When we left, our heroine (me) was on a phone call to Mother, talking about coming out.

Read on.

Sigh.

The text of the letter was a challenge. I don't have the original letter any more, but it resonated with me. I tried to simulate Mother's handwriting, which was illegible to anyone but family. I will include the text in a supplement in the finished book, but here it is.

"Grandma put in a good garden this year- Should be a lot of green beans- and of course wild pie plant for when you come up-

I've been thinking a lot about you - what you're doing seems right- but be careful- sometimes the relief of making a big decision can be confused with it being the right decision

Just something to think about-

Read the most fascinating book about Ghengis Khan"

Mother didn't use periods. Everything was dashes. I debated typesetting this, but reproducing her handwriting seemed more - well, proper. 

In narrative and in design terms, this page advances the story well, but the content is static. I toyed with a couple ideas for the first panel. I wanted to convey that we were still in the same phone call without using the same visual devices. I reused the poses from the previous page and just changed the positions and expressions slightly.  I thought the split and reverse of heavy blacks worked well. And I liked the wavy line!

Panel two: I wanted an emotional moment without a close up. Too many close ups lately! The 3/4 shot of me and Mother embracing shows emotion, and shows me out of "boy cosplay" in front of family for the first time. The action lines give it a little weight. Panel 3, the letter, was a strategic narrative choice. It brought the page to a satisfying conclusion, and said something about Mother's thought processes.

Tools used on this page:

• Papers: tracing paper, various sketchbooks, Canson Bristol board
  
• Pencils: Lyra 2B graphite stick, 4B lead and holder, 2B Ticonderoga classic, tech pencil and 4B lead
  
• Erasers: kneadable, vinyl eraser, Click eraser
• Hand Tools: 6" and 14" straightedge, triangle, T-square, French curves
• Inking tools: Dr.Martin's Black Magic ink, nib and holder, Princeton Deerfoot 1/4" mini detailer brush (can't get enough of this brush!), Kingart 8 Gold Synthetic
  
• Markers: Micron 0.25, 0.5, 0.6, 0.8, and Copic 0.25, Copic Brush and Micron small brush
  
• And of course, Photoshop

 Next: Mother gets irritated.

Original Art Sundays no. 366: Sharp Invitations: Esther's Hands, p. 8

 This one took a bit of doing. More about that in a minute.

For now, let's resume our story. Mother had just gotten some books, freshly published in the US(o so she thought) . In an unusual move, she offered to pay us to read them, and I took her up on the offer.

The astute Tolkien scholar will be aware that Mother was wrong. The first US publication was in 1954-56, with paprback volumes first appearing in 1965 from Ace Books. Editor Donald Wollheim contended that the works were public domain and printed them without approval. Due to fan pressure, this edition was withdrawn and Tolkien was paid a nominal royalty. The Ballantine paperbacks, the edition Mother got us, appeared in 1966, making the NY Times bestseller list. So Mother's claim was true, sort of, to the best of her knowledge.

I'll talk about my reaction to these books on the next page. These stories intertwine, and focus becomes crucial. I have to keep this chapter of the story about my relationship with Mother, and how it effected my life as a trans woman.

On the mechanics of this page: I had one of those "see the page in my mind" moments. When I started looking closely at the mental image, I realized it was pulled from Hildebrandt illustrations, the first Lord of the Rings movie, and this image by Rowena Morrill.

Sigh. I do love Alfred Bester.

I resolved to push the contrast by working with Coquille paper. This is a texture I love, and during my undergrad, I began a sequel to The Devil and Daniel Webster using this medium (another incomplete work!). I realized my plot was much like William Messner-Loebs' neglected work Welcome to Heaven, Dr. Franklin, so I moved on. But it was time to go back to Coquille, or as it's now marketed, stipple board.

I worked up numerous preliminary sketches, diligently laid out the page, redrew the hand holding the brush and the kid in the corner reading to take advantage of the board's texure, and dove in, working to capture the urgency of the encounter with the Balrog. The result was not without problems.

It works in part. Gandalf's pose is successful. I love the Balog's head, but the proportions of the rest of the critter- yeesh! Also, I dropped his bat wings off somewhere along the way. The bridge and the cavern work, but do not have the impact I hoped for.

What to do?

I mused on other possibilities. Different interpretation of the beast? Different angle? I liked the big dramatic moment aspect of this, but it just wasn't working. It was great fun to draw, but the end result just didn't have it. I had to accept that there was no saving this, at least not within my self-imposed deadline.

I resolved to keep the parts I liked and move on from the rest. 

Around the same time, Mother used to read the work of self-proclaimed psychic Edgar Cayce (but really, aren't all psychics self-proclaimed?). Late in her life, I asked her why, since it was so far afield from her beliefs. She got one of her classic introspective expressions and said, "well, I look at a lot of ideas, keep what's of value, and discard the rest." That's a good philosophy for resolving art and storytelling problems. I also realized that since so many skilled artists have tackled this material over the decades, I was setting myself up by trying to match or exceed them, and resolved to just compete with myself- never easy! I went back to my 64 page outline and looked at the rough for this page. It served as an effective model, a viable alternative. Again using stipple board, I did the primary illustration for the more successful page that leads this post. I composited it with border elements from the less successful Balrog page, and achieved a satisfying result. I could have gone another version, but again, deadlines. 

I wanted to give a sense of both the reader's involvement with Lord of the Rings and the thrill of the work itself. 

I greatly enjoyed working the China marker and scumbling brushes. This page (pages) took much longer than usual, but I was having such fun! I like working in loose flowing lines and textures. The pages and images that satisfy me the most tend to use these. I seldom do battle scenes. I want to be better at them, so I should do more!

Materials list is extensive on these pages.

• Papers: tracing paper, various sketchbooks, 32 pound stipple paper
• Pencils: Lyra 2B graphite stick, 4B lead and holder, 2B Ticonderoga classic, China marker
• Erasers: kneadable, vinyl eraser, Click eraser
• Hand Tools: 6" and 14" straightedge, triangle, T-square, French curves
• Inking tools: Dr.Martin's Black Magic ink, nib and holder, Princeton Deerfoot 1/4" mini detailer brush, Escoda Kolinsky no. 4 brush, Richeson Kolinsky  no. 2 brush, red ballpoint pen
• Markers: Micron 0.6, 0.8, 1.0 and Copic 0.25
• And of course, Photoshop

Next: book club and a parting of sorts.

 

Original Art Sundays No. 365: Sharp Invitations: Esther's Hands, p. 7

 Once more into the adventure!

When we left our hapless/intrepid family, the kids (us) were coming into their own, slowly. Mother had begun taking painting classes on night a week.

One night, she had news.

Continuing the brush stroke motif from last page. This motif will carry on for one more page.

Story and art notes intertwine on this page.

The astute observer will note that the hand has moved down the page a bit, but the left panel border is still defined by the implied brush stroke. In the original art, I had the hand a bit higher on the page, but it was too close to the location on the previous page to imply motion. Minimal corrections on this page, primarily eliminating the local color of the paper in Photoshop. I sometimes have luck with the Threshold command in this process, but with the bit of wash on the last panel, that wasn't an option today. Threshold has an almost bitmap effect, making everything rather stark and dropping gray values.

I am reusing the rather static panel with everyone sitting around the dining table as an establishing image for the page, with some minor changes in pose and slight aging of the kids. Perhaps the aging is too subtle, but my Beatles haircut was on point for my age of 14. I don't know if there will be a page in the book for this or not, but I was originally forbidden to listen to The Beatles. Once they got a Saturday morning cartoon show, it was somehow okay.

 

I learned to draw The Beatles in this style by copying a TV Guide article on the cartoon series!

There may or may not be a chapter on music at some point. It's such a huge part of my life, but I do want to keep this book focused on the main theme (and under 500 pages!). I have to focus on the three things this book is about: growing up relatively poor, trans identity and domestic abuse.

The art in the last panel is slightly more complex than my usual work. This is a lead-in to the next page. 

Tool list, just because it's been a while:

• Sketchbooks
• Canson Bristol Board
• Lead holder with 4B leads, 4B pencil, graphite stick
• Plastic eraser, Click Eraser
• Whiteout pen
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte ink (full concentrate and wash)
• Pen nibs and holders
• Brushes:  Grumbacher no. 2 flat, Escoda no.4 Kolinsky, Princeton 1/4" mini detailer
• X-Acto #11 blade, cutting matte
• Photoshop

Next: the books being read.
 

 

Original Art Sundays No. 362: Sharp Invitations: Esther's Hands, p. 4

 Back in the saddle again, with another page. This one took a while, mostly due to other time commitments. The page itself was a simple enough page, but it gave me fits. For some reason, I couldn't get it to work. It was a serviceable page, but so dull. The first tier was okay, but the second tier- snore.

After several false starts and a collaboration with Kevyn Lenagh, creator of Domino Chance, I came up with a pragmatic approach to the second tier. Split out the right panel into two, and change the perspective on the first panel. I was finally able to put the page to bed today. I was pleasantly surprised that she liked the page more than I did!

When we left off, Mother had four kids, and Dad, who was away on military duty, had just met someone - else.

Narrative notes: At a family reunion recently, I talked with my sister and my cousin about the ethics of naming names in this work. Their view was that if someone is living, they should not be named. I don't completely agree, but when I'm done with this work, before I go to press, I will delete the name of Dad's second wife. In the text of the first panel, I bounced back and forth between "your kids" and "our kids." I landed on the former, thinking it was consistent with his abrogating responsibility while she didn't. A crucial detail, the fact that Mother was pregnant again when Dad made his announcement, was left out of this page, but will be worked into the next page. I alluded to it by having 5 kids instead of 4 at the dining room table.

Visual notes: This page is intended to provide more background. It is, of necessity, a "workhorse" page. With the framework in place, I can be more adventurous on the next page. The top tier is fairly effective- the old saw of the phone cord works on pre cel phone stories. I like the graphite as night in panel 3. Panels 4 and 5 do what they should do and advance the story, but still lack emotional impact. In this case, I reluctantly decided that it was best to let the text carry the story. I kept the original top tier and reworked the second tier on a separate page, then went into Photoshop and mashed them together.

No tool list this time. Pretty straightforward.

Next: the kids grow a bit and Mother starts to find her way out.

Original Art Sundays No. 361: Sharp Invitiations: Esther's Hands, p. 3

 Here we go with the next page of Mother's story.

This is another text heavy page. There's a need to communicate a lot of information in a short time to get to the part that's essential to this narrative.

While the whole family history is challenging and always full of surprises (as noted by my sisters in their genealogy research), I want to keep this about the prime foci of this book: class issues, trans issues and domestic abuse survival. To tell that story (my story), I must leave out a lot of peripheral matters, no matter how interesting they are. Distill the story to essentials.

There's also the issue of ethics. I talked this chapter over with my sister, who is very private. I will only include the names of siblings and other relatives when absolutely essential to the story. 

Art notes: I could have just used photos again here, but I wanted to spend some time hand rendering from reference. The bar scene is obviously pure speculation, since I only know in very general terms when Dad and Audrey met, and not under what specific circumstances. I debated giving her a pseudonym, but since their subsequent marriage is a matter of public record, I didn't see any point. More about her in the next chapter, the one on Dad. The point here is to quickly establish the foundation for my relationship with my Mother as it pertains to the issues in this book.

Art and process: the old school photo border on the top image isn't part of the original photo, but I think it serves the theme of the page. For the second image, I just hunted up 1950s images of officers' clubs and cocktail parties, and put together something plausible. Basic tools on this page, with almost all the lettering done in Photoshop. I went to an old device for the border on the second panel- hard rule in pencil and freehand the inked border. I haven't used that device a lot in this book, but it works here.

Next: Mother's story meets another story.

Original Art Sundays No. 359: pin-up page: Blue Wild Abandon

 Taking a day away from the big story. It's my birthday today, and I felt an impulse. Yeah, the graphic memoir is important and I like doing it, but as anyone who's worked in nonfiction (even creative nonfiction) knows, there are certain constraints. Some things HAVE TO BE RIGHT, which can stall the creative drive. Plus, have fun with your art!

There's this character who has been popping into my sketchbooks and ideas in various forms for years. She's starting to take shape, but she's elusive! It started with the title van Dyke Parks song from Clang of the Yankee Reaper. The song includes the line "out in the blue wild abandon." I was charmed by the line and thought it would make a great character name. Eventually, she tied into the random sketches. An idea tickled me. I came to see that was the name of that character, and finally the story takes shape. I did post a sketch of her during Inktober this year.

I won't say a ton about the story here, other than that it's an homage to a favorite Western, Have Gun Will Travel. I particularly like the moral challenges in the episodes written by Harry Julian Fink, and I hope to capture that tone and energy in Ms. Abandon's stories.

I thought about making this a book cover, but soon realized that it was an old-school pin-up page, like they used to do in 60s Marvel comics. So fun, so exciting!

So many decisions! I have a very specific look for her. I need to work up some model sheets. This is very close, but not quite it. Her assistant is Marilyn, the robot who also debuted in this year's Inktober scrawling. That's vital. The assistant character in the source series is Kim Chang, called Hey Boy for much of the series. While the show made a genuine effort to overcome the racism of the era, it's still there, and Blue's helper cannot be such a character. The robot with a personality is also a tired trope, but I have schemes to make Marilyn a fresh character.

So much fun playing in Photoshop on this. I want to do some hand painted pieces of her, but that's another day. The first book is plotted and preliminary character sketches are in place. The book will be B & W with color covers. And there may be paper dolls in her future....

Mostly conventional tools on this. Bristol, pen and ink, brushes, erasers, straightedge, a little whiteout. It turned out well.

Next, back to the memoir.

Original Art Sundays No. 357: Sharp Invitations: Curt, final pages

 Hi again.

Took an extra week to complete these pages. I hope you'll find the wait worthwhile!

When we left Diana and Jenny, they (we) were motoring back from Curt's trial in Madison. Please join us for the aftermath.

 

That concludes this chapter. 

It was such a humbling experience to have the people who survived all this with me, the women who put up with this nonsense, beside me at its culmination. Like Pete Townshend said in Somebody Saved Me, all I know is I've been making it- there have been times I didn't deserve to. I really don't know if I believe in ritual power or not. But whether we were invoking outside forces or giving me a healing moment of catharsis, it worked. And I'm sure his dying shortly after the ritual, 250 miles away and unknown to me for 10 years, was coincidence. Really, pure coincidence. You can't prove a thing. You got nothing on me, coppers!

I'm tempted to include a section on repercussions, to talk about how these effects scarred me in unexpected ways over the years. But I have other things to say before the book is done, and some of that will present itself in the coda.

My original outline, based on the ten chapters in my 64 page draft edition, was to deal with this as a small part of my life. This chapter comprised 10 pages of the outline. Turns out I had more to say about it than about some other parts. Ultimately, the book is about three things: trans stuff, class issues (to a small degree), and surviving in general, with surviving abuse as a specific aspect of that.  One of the original ten chapters is gone. It's a good story, but not for this book. The remaining chapters will cover my mother (6 - 10 pages), my father (about the same), sex and sexuality coupled with gender concerns (another 12 pages as now planned), and the coda, which ran 12 pages in a recent rewrite. About 50 pages, give or take.

Then it's done, aside from edits (assuming I get a publisher).

My big concern about the book is that it not be too grim, sad, or unrelenting. I've known plenty of joy along the way, and I want that to come across too.

Art notes: 

Getting a handle on these pages was a challenge, the second page more than the first. These are fairly static, minimal action pages. On the ritual page, there was one big action that served as the focal point. I'm not a big fan of sound effects in my work. I played with adding something here, but it didn't really gel. Technique is pretty straightforward on these, with minimal Photoshop corrections. I'm developing my own set of tools as the work evolves: sparse backgrounds, use of gray value from pencil to weight the visuals of more airy pages and panels, and a deliberate sense of framing. That last drawn panel on the second page turned out okay- everyone sitting around the table celebrating quietly. The final page is lifted verbatim from the draft edition. What can I say? Sometimes it's right the first time. I just took a traditional 35mm photograph from back in the day, scanned it and added text.

The tools used here are much the same as on the previous posted pages, so no updates necessary. I did get a porcelain escargot dish to use for inking, based on the recommendation of Terry Moore, and it's pretty cool.

Next: the chapter on Mother begins. I will need to find a better title for that one! In the draft the title was Esther and Gandalf, and I don't care for that at all now!

Original Art Sundays no. 355: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 55

 Back in the saddle, so to speak! Last week was just too hectic, but we're back on track.

Last week, we saw my court testimony against Curt. He was on trial for disorderly conduct (reduced charge) after his actions against me the previous December.

Read on.

Courtrooms are pretty bland places, visually. This is intentional, to a large extent. Neutral surroundings give advantage to neither side in a conflict.

This courtroom is reconstructed from memory and a few photo references. I added the painting on the wall to give the panel a little weight.

Other art considerations: Panel one is partially open. This is to slow the pace a bit. The full figure echoes the first page of the narrative. The very first panel of the story is me full figure. The kitchen setting and me drinking tea (or is it coffee?) was a whim. The open cupboards are another opportunity to give weight to a very light page, visually. I used the heavy blacks in panels 3 and 5 as counterbalances- one on reader left, one on reader right. I got sick of not being able to control my whiteout, so I got some more options, including a whiteout pen that gives great coverage and is very easy to work with. The texture behind him in panels 4 and 5 was the same thing, just to add a little weight and texture. Very light Photoshop this week. Just some Levels and Curves work, and a slight correction for distortion in the scan.This one was pretty clean.

Focus is never my long suit. I'm thinking about my classes for next semester, while I wrap up the current semester (3 weeks to go!). Along the same lines, I have sketches and notes on the next two major projects, and I'm putting together a small book of completed works. All the while, I'm planning and re-planning the completion of this book.

Here's this week's tool list.

• Canson Bristol Board
• T-squares, triangles, straightedges, Ames lettering guide, erasing guide
• Pencils: Ticonderoga 2B, Derwent 6B and 3B, 0.3 tech pencil and Ebony pencil
• Inks: Quill nib and holder, Dr. Martin's Black Magic matte ink, Copic Multiliner Brush Small, Microns .005, .02, .03, .05 and .08
• Kneadable and plastic erasers
• FW Artists' Acrylic White and Tight Spot correction brush, Whiteout pen
  
• Photoshop

 

Next: the verdict is in.

Original Art Sundays No. 313: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 54

 Court time!

Testifying against the abusive ex!

Narrative notes: As has been happening, this is an abridged version of my testimony. Actual court proceedings are slow and detail oriented, and don't usually make for good storytelling. He really did loudly whisper that to his attorney! I still have that Ankh necklace, and that dress. The dress no longer fits, but I've always loved it and can't bring myself to part with it. The second panel on the top tier could read as abridged testimony, which it is, or as broken phrases due to the raw emotions on the stand. While the former is the truth, both are valid readings.

Art notes: Courtrooms are really kind of boring places, at least visually. They have to be, when you think about it. It's not about the place, it's about what happens there. The backgrounds are sparse and the lighting is very even. Doesn't make for an exciting view. I moved the "camera" a bit, always just on the one axis, to give the page some visual dynamic. This page is completely pen and ink, aside from the corrections. The background completely drops from the bottom tier. This is a deliberate narrative choice. I wanted to push aside everything except the testimony at that point. This page got very messy in scanning for some reason - a ton of little artifacts! I did the usual Photoshop tricks: levels, dust and scratches, threshold. But it came down to tedium with eraser and brush tools. It's not my best page, but it works.

Next: one more page of court, possibly two if I can't resolve a layout challenge, two pages of aftermath,  and a page of goodbye. Then this chapter is done.

Original Art Sundays No. 312: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 53

 Hello all!

I concentrated on Inktober (and midterm grades) during the last month.  I will post my Inktober work as time permits, and I may compile a small book of the last two years of October Inks. Now that I've completed that work for now, it's back to the book.

When we left our heroines, Diana (myself) and Jennifer were en route to Madison, WI. I was going there to testify against Curt, who insisted on a jury trial on disorderly conduct charges, stemming from his attempted attack on me six months earlier. 

Read on.

Story notes: this page provides a small glimpse into Jenny's personality, in her facial expressions and curiosity. It's a necessary step in the story- we have to get there for the trial to happen, of course. I'm always struck by how much you can do with so little in comics. One small caption covers an entire trip! I might have the mileage wrong- didn't bother to double check it, since I've done that particular journey so many times over the years. Side note: 3/4 of the page is devoted to a hair style. Make of that what you will.

Layout and art notes: My photo reference for the Dane County Courthouse was limited, so I extrapolated an exterior from available information. The telescoped perspective (trompe l'oilel) is surface plausible, but hurts if you look at it too long. This page was rather sparse, so I dropped in some Photoshop textures.  It felt weird - good but weird- to be working on comics again after a month of just drawing. There's a slight distortion to the bottom edge. Most of the time, my new trick of taking a phone photo and dropping it into Photoshop on the laptop works fine, but there are idiosyncrasies. I suspect that when the book is complete, prior to a re-edit, I will need to take a couple weeks and just re-scan, re-draw, rewrite...

Lots of artifacts on this week's page! Photoshop cleanup was crucial. I wasn't paying attention to my tools, and grabbed a 6B pencil for most of the layout, making cleanup a challenge. I re-lettered Panel Two in PS, using the Scott McCloud The Sculptor typeface. I recently read that again. It's so good! It reminds me of the possibilities of the form, technical, narrative and spiritual.

During Inktober, I splurged on new brushes, nibs and inks. I've forgotten how much smoother the work is when one doesn't have to fight one's tools.

The tools this week are the usual suspects:

• Canson Bristol Board
• T-squares, triangles, straightedges, Ames lettering guide, erasing guide
• Pencils: Ticonderoga 2B, Derwent 6B and 3B, 0.3 tech pencil and Ebony pencil
• Inks: Quill nib and holder, Dr. Martin's Black Magic matte ink, Copic Multiliner Brush Small, Microns .005, .02, .03, .05, .08, and 1.0 (lots of Micron use on this page)
• Kneadable and plastic erasers
• FW Artists' Acrylic White and Tight Spot correction brush
• Photoshop

Next: We see Curt again.

Original Art Sundays No. 311: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 52

 As alluded to, we're not done with him yet. The nature of the ominous phone call is revealed...

So... off to court! I'd only been in court once before (car trouble- the police found marijuana in the glove box). I really wasn't sure what to expect. And yes, there was a drastic haircut involved, which will be covered on our next page. This trip really forged my relationship with Jenny, and gave me a much-needed fresh perspective on Curt.

Logistically, this page was fun. I looked at several road trip comics: the 70s Green Lantern/Green Arrow run, some moments in Omaha the Cat Dancer (especially the scene where she's taking a bus to Wisconsin!), The Archies miniseries (which was so good!) and the last issue of JMS's Midnight Nation, which I've been re-reading a lot lately. I got the framework for this page from that last book, and was able to modify it to suit my narrative. The faces elongated just a bit, but it's okay, as I was quite thin when I got done with him- so much so that at least one friend thought I had some ailment causing weight loss. Well, in a way, I suppose I did. Layout is pretty direct. Weight in the top tier comes from a background texture. The inset slice panel of tier 2 reestablishes the scene, and we cut to car interiors for the bottom tier. After the info dump in panel four, there's a slow buildup to an introspective moment. We go closer on the face, then tight on one feature, the eyes (an old film trick that usually works). I love the reduction of the rest of the car interior to silhouette in panels five and six. This page condenses approximately three weeks of real time. Many necessary legal logistics are left out of the narrative.

Materials:

• Basic tools: Drawing Board, T-square, triangle, straightedge, Ames lettering guide
  
• Pencils: Ticonderoga 2B, Cumberland 3B, Pasler 6B, lead holder with 4B lead, and tech pencil with 3B lead.
• Erasers: Staedtler Mars plastic and kneadable erasers
• Dr. Martin's Black Matte Ink, FW Artists' Acrylic White
  
• ALL the Micron tech markers (.005 to 1.0) and Copic Brush Tip Marker
• Brushes: Grumbacher no. 2 flat,  Princeton 1/4" mini-detailer, Tight Spot
• Photoshop (minimal corrections this time! Mostly I do Threshold and Levels work, sometimes Curves)
  

Next: Testify!

Original Art Sundays no. 310: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 51

 Only one page this week, campers. Next several pages are written and next page is laid out and on the board. As mentioned last week, we're coming into the busy season. I'm eager to keep up the pace without driving myself crazy!

A moment of bliss in the previous page, as a new relationship begins. But life never holds still, much as we might want it to... 

Story Notes: Once again, the timeline is condensed for narrative purposes. There were several months between my leaving Curt and courting Jenny, and a few more until we lived together. While it's exciting to live through the growth of a new relationship, it doesn't make for good storytelling. I just discussed this with my students. The 1990s storytelling movement spawned attempts to make books of the oral narratives. The books were failures. What works in daily life and personal interaction doesn't always work on the page.

Art Notes: The scene is the star here. The characters are literally embedded in the setting, using the basic principle of foreground/midground/background. That's a very fun park and walking path, still going strong. The last panel was done on a separate page and imported in Photoshop. The original version showed me running to catch the phone call, and it was just an unreadable mess. There's little actual action on this page, so the rule comes into play: something must always move. If the characters aren't moving, the perspective (camera) must. I'm using a heavier outline on much of this page, especially panel two.

Next: we hit the road.

Original Art Sundays No. 309: Sharp Invitations: Curt, pp. 49 (rework) and 50

 Back at it, folks!

I corrected the first panel of the last page and am reposting the page to start, followed by the next page. I am very close to completion of the following page, but not quite there. Here are pages 49 and 50.

In the current narrative, we're talking about rebuilding a life. These pages continue that theme.

Not much new to say about the first page after last week's discussion. This is mainly a correction, after all. That first panel is an improvement over last week's posting, using a more direct angle and a tighter shot (and better drawing). Keep it simple! Just rendered on a different piece of Bristol and patched it in with Photoshop. My facial expression in he new version of Panel One is what I was hoping to convey- just barely holding on, but trying to smile anyway.

Page 50 of this chapter is most of what I'm saying about Jennifer in this book. Our relationship had its challenges, as they all do, but she's living her own life now and I want to respect her privacy. We saw each other through some rough times, and I am grateful to her. She had such intense joy! Jenny was also trans, which will be discussed a bit in a future page. After I wrote this page, I realized that I had lifted the last line from my man Micheal Nesmith. But the sentiment was so right, I decided to let it go. I drew the portrait of us on Coquille board instead of Bristol, using classic pen and ink with China marker (AKA grease pencil). The stuff is really pricey, but I love the look and would like to use it more often! I became attached to it in the 90s when I found out you could get a halftone from it without a stat camera. I do so love old school production art. For this page, I wanted a simple border, vaguely reminiscent of Art Noveau, around the illustration, and floating text above and beneath. It's been a while since I did a decorative border, and it felt nice to flex that particular muscle again. I was, in my small way, emulating the master of the Noveau border in comics, Terry Moore. But it needed to be fairly simple, so I opted for just some nice flowing overlapping curves. The border and text were done on a separate sheet of Canson Bristol board and merged in Photoshop.

I keep saying I'm almost done with this chapter. Yet on it goes. Much like what Alan Moore said about his groundbreaking run on Miracleman, it was a simple idea, but it grew in the telling. The bulk of it is complete. There are three significant events yet to document, and an afterword. Then a brief chapter on each of my parents and a final word. I'm so charged to do the work right now. I'm trying new techniques, revisiting old ones, and embracing the work. If I can manage two pages a week, the bulk of the book could be complete by year end. That's a realistic goal, I think. Of course, I also plan to do Inktober again this year... possibly more Coquille pieces... and I need to grade and teach and... 

Yet the book gets done. I will have faith, and welcome you to do the same.

Next: Things are finally going well for our heroine, and that's unlikely to change, right? Right? Well....

Original Art Sundays No 307: Sharp Invitiations: Curt, p. 48

 Time, time, time, see what's become of me...

Sorry, in a bit of a Simon & Garfunkel mood. I do love that song.

We're on the overnight bus in a bitter winter, contemplating and regretting.

Went through some real changes on this one. Originally it was going to be a "putting your life back together" page, but that seemed a bit abrupt. We need a moment to consider everything that's happened before moving on. I suddenly remembered that Francine painting in Vol. 3 book 6, the one where she's quasi-fetal, holding her foot and looking ruefully to the side. I started off trying to copy that, then made the pose my own. I liked the idea of a contained nude pose, all lost and vulnerable. My initial concept was to do ink wash over the figure, progressively darker as we go down, with rough torn edges between gradations. Then I thought about masking the figure and using ink wash through rough burlap. Both ideas have merit, but not for this page. Besides, my frisket seems to have dried up.

As I drew the figure, the concept of a flashback collage came to me. So it was back to the old files and Photoshop to the rescue! Yay, layers and masks!

No need for an equipment list this week.

One of the questions I'm asked often by people who read this work is the obvious one: why did I stay around? There's no simple answer, and it's a question I continue to ask myself. I suspect that any abuse survivor has a similar internal dialogue. I don't know if it's easier or harder being trans when it comes to abuse. I suspect abuse is abuse. Trans is just one more thing they can use against you in that context.

On a more positive note, the MCAD Faculty Biennial has its official opening this Friday! There are 14 pages from this work in the show, along with a banner created for the show. I hope to see many friends there. So much great art to celebrate....

Next: TCB.

Original Art Sundays no. 305: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p.45

 Once more into the breach, dear friends. When we left our intrepid couple, Curt had made his intentions clear. Read on.

First, we discuss the story.

Events unfolded in this way, but there was a 24 hour gap between him telling me to go and my exit. We had out of town company the next day, quite awkward. I do wish I'd put on the other pants! The cop is modeled on a Madison cop who used to work security for Rocky Horror when I was running the Majestic in Madison. Really nice guy. We had long talks about Stephen King. Last time I saw him was after I transitioned and he was still decent to me, something I haven't always experienced from law enforcement. I remember him fondly. I wish all cops were as respectful to trans people as he was to me.

Art notes: I went a bit overboard on the first panel, with a wild pose inspired partially by the Bob Clampett classic The Great Piggy Bank Robbery. I do enjoy that loose style, but it doesn't always serve the story. One of my occasional beta readers suggested that the left (back) arm could swing out a little more. I followed that suggestion and it worked. 

The rest of the page is pretty procedural. It was a lonely, scared night and I wanted to show that without saying it outright. Given where I went, it was fairly easy. 24 hour groceries have mind numbingly even lighting. It's very disconcerting. For the last 5 panels, my goal was to include sufficient detail to communicate and no more. The characters inside the police car are a visual idea I want to work on more - characters seen inside the environment, as opposed to placed atop it or in front of it. Characters behind desks, seen through foliage, wandering through ruins with large bent metal in front of them- you get the idea. It encourages deeper involvement in the story. Some of the lines in the last panel dropped out a bit. I'll push it more in Photoshop, as is my way.

Same equipment list as last week, so I won't repeat it. There is the notable inclusion of a couple new tools: a Copic small brush marker and a Deerfoot 1/4 Mini Detailer brush. It's an angled tip, very chunky, and gives a delightful scumbling line. Very thick handle, feels good to hold. I suspect it will get a lot of use as a dry brush tool. You can see some of it in the "light lines" around the lightpost in panel 3. 

Next week: the shelter.

Original Art Sundays no. 303: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 43

 Next page!

When we left our hapless couple, Curt was preparing to throw an ashtray. Anyone taking odds on him following through?

Content notes: This happened, but not quite this way. I didn't see him trash another guitar, but I did see the wrecked guitar afterwards. This guitar, which I also loved, was a replacement he got me for the one he destroyed a couple months prior. That will be covered in the text of the next page.

Craft throughts: Time in comics is so elastic. I can cover months or years in one panel, or cover one night in multiple pages as I'm doing here, or make a single moment so elastic as Scott McCloud does in the exquisite framing sequence for The Sculptor. We're also manipulating perspective here. The first panel is from my POV, the second from his, while the rest of the page is back to my viewpoint.

I would like the darks to have more weight in the first two panels. I like clean lines (the clare ligne technique used in Tintin is so delicious), but it doesn't always serve the narrative. Also, it's not really my style, although I certainly lean towards it! I love the iris on panels three and four. While it was intended as just a design device, the iris on the last panel resembles an eye opening shape- a happy accident. The inks on Curt's face in the final panel went someplace strange, so a bit of Photoshop cleanup was in order. I've been considering trying different illustrative programs, as I sometimes find Photoshop limiting for my purposes and my Illustrator chops are very rusty.

I continue to prepare for the MCAD Faculty Biennial, doing digital prints of some pages, cleaning up others, meeting with the new gallery director to go over the plan for the work's exhibition. Fall semester also looms large, so it is indeed the busy season! But new pages continue to present themselves and evolve on my board, sort of a Petri dish of comic art. I have two comics and an illustrated novella in the hopper after this work is completed. Keeping joy, pace and spirit remain crucial.

Tools for this page:

• Canson Bristol board, plain paper slipsheet, masking tape
  
• iPhone for photo reference.
• T-square, triangle, Ames lettering guide
• Tech pencil, Paster 6B pencil, HB Woodless pencil
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• Blick #6 Round Brush
• Pen nib & holder
• Micron .005, .01, .02, .03, .05, .08, 1.0
• Faber Castell Brush Tip Marker
• Plastic eraser
• Photoshop

Next: Hang on, dear readers, I'm nearly done with this chapter. But as I told one of my readers last week, these things must be done delicately, or you hurt the spell.

Original Art Sundays No. 301: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 41

 As promised, a little action!

When we left our hapless couple, Curt had just snapped - I mean really snapped - because the phone rang and somebody hung up. 

The story: this is where I finally accepted the truth, that the problem wasn't me, it was him. I'm taking slight liberties with the timeline and omitting some events that bog things down. It all happened, but over a full day and night, and briefly involved some out of town guests, awkward witnesses to some of this miasma. It will take two or three more pages to resolve these events and a few more to deal with the aftermath.

In most abuse narratives, there's a point where the victim finally accepts that they don't deserve to be treated that way. This was that moment for me. All that's left is survival.

Again, sparse backgrounds. The details fall away until nothing is left but the two of us, the crucible of the relationship's ugly truth. Gray values come from Ebony pencil and brush marker (a faded one giving a wispy edge), much more effective than wash or regular marker, I think. Using the old saw of having the panels touch on the top tier to slow time. Then things open up. Violation of the border on the 2/3 splash magnifies the figure and slows time again, despite this being an action driven panel. The distance between the tow of us is, of course, elongated for effect. I adapted the pose from one of my favorite books, Colleen Doran and Derek McCullough's Gone to Amerikay, a later page. There's been relatively little physical action in my story, and it feels good to break that. I recall an MCAD professor, Peter Gross, looking at someone else's page, a big action pose, and saying, "yeah, THAT'S comics!" Light whiteout here and there, mostly nib and Micron on this page. Photoshop used only for light correction on this one.

I noticed as the page evolved that this page was an ironic and bittersweet hint of an earlier page, where he came to visit me in Minneapolis and I ran to him. Here's a reprint of the earlier page for comparison.

More and more I find that my style is becoming itself. An elusive concept, which sounds much more high handed than it is. Every page, every image, is about discovering and rediscovering my natural artistic tendencies, ideally always in service to the story.

Tools:

• Canson Bristol board
• Ames Lettering guide
• Triangle, T-Square
• Tech pencil, Derwent 3B pencil, Ebony pencil
  
• Faber Castell Eraser, kneadable eraser
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Tight Spot
• Tech markers: Micron .02, .03, .05, .08 and Faber Castell Brush Tip
• Slip sheet

Next: the last fight continues. Something gets thrown.

Original Art Sundays No. 298: Sharp Invitations: Curt, pp. 36 and 37

 Hello again!

Two pages this week instead of one! I was having fun with it and decided to push a bit. 

This is my response to Curt's reaction to my attempt to slit my wrists.

Well, out of the fire and into surrender! Really, I tried running away, I tried escaping into death (however halfheartedly). The only thing left to try was surrender. Plus, part of me always wanted to be the little housewife. I don't think it's every trans woman's dream, but it was one of mine. However, I myopically believed I wouldn't have to surrender my autonomy to fulfill it.

Also, as anyone who's been involved in domestic abuse will tell you, it's a labyrinth, a tangled mess of conflation and subversion. It's jarring to live through, but excessive detail on such things makes for a convoluted and uninteresting story. Better to condense and summarize.

Soliloquy and paper dolls seemed a good way to sum up this turn of events. This story is a bit heavy, and an occasional respite is called for. Plus- paper dolls, what fun! I've done paper dolls of most of my other characters, so why not me? In my research, I discovered that the Cleavers' home town of Mayfield isn't in a specific state, hence the USA locale. All the costumes are period, evoking the 1960s housewife cliche, except the Omaha lingerie, which is there in homage to sensei Reed Waller. They're also all things I really enjoy.

Layout is pretty direct on these. I've done soliloquy pages earlier in this story, and followed the same pattern of reversal/reversal. I love the high five in the last panel on that page. 

Tools for these two pages:

• Canson Bristol Board, tracing paper
  
• Pencils: Tech pencil, 2B Ticonderoga, 3B and 6B Cumberland Derwent, 4B Graphite stick
• Holder & Nib, ballpoint pen
• Triangle, straightedge, T-square
  
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte ink
• Brushes: Blick #6 Synthetic Round, Escoda Kolinsky Sable Flat #4. Tight Spot for corrections
• Microns: .03, .05, .08, Brush Tip
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Photoshop

Next: Domestic tranquility moments, the calm before the final storm.