Monday, June 19, 2017

Original Art Sundays No. 247: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p.5

Beginning the post before midnight, so technically still a Sunday post!
I had a devil of a time resolving this page/section of the narrative. In the draft version, two major people enter my life and the relationship with Curt takes an unnerving turn, all on one page.
The more I looked at it, the more I realized that I was trying to rush through/gloss over one of the more awkward spots in my life, either before or after transition. That one page will now be four, possibly five pages. Given the scope of the events covered, that still may not be enough. The important thing is to let the story breathe, without bogging it down in tedium or omitting crucial information.
Here's the revised version of this page.
I'll post the original draft after I've completed this segment.
I'm also trying to get away from telling and getting back to showing. No flashback narrative on this page!
This page reverts to inks. I'm a bit rusty, and my inks were gummy, making use of a crowquill almost impossible, but it's a poor workwoman that blames her tools. I may redo this page yet again. I don't mind the rough, raw feel of the rendering of Loring Park in the first panel, but the building, shot straight on like that, looks rather flat.
I've changed the name and the appearance of the woman I met in the park that day, as I've not been in contact with her. I've been trying to let people know when they are included in the book. If I can't contact them, as is the case here, I'll make them anonymous, while holding on to the events in question.
Also hand lettering this page! With this sparse text, it seemed superfluous to letter digitally.
I will review the work when this chapter is complete, to see if it flows with the jump from pencil to ink. As alluded to in a previous post, the last page of this story has another jump in style, so I suspect it will be okay.
The poses in panel two are consistent with the idea that characters' positions should do at least as much to convey story as dialogue.
I debated the merits of throwing in a background texture on panel 3 and decided against it. Backgrounds/environments remain a tentative area in my work. But I like the rendering of the figures in panel 3. Just enough dry brush to make it interesting, and a good variation of line weight.
The last panel just fell into place. Once I realized I was concentrating on the hands touching (which, believe me, was a very potent moment!), the silhouette became the way to go. I do so love a good silhouette.
I'm working through detailing my past stupidity.
Understand me on this one. I don't think I was stupid to be with her, or to commit any of the actions that follow in this story. My stupidity is the same here as it is in most of my stories. If I had just been honest from the outset, I would have saved myself so much trouble!
But in order to be honest with somebody else, you have to be so to yourself first. And at that point, I wasn't there yet.
Next: page 6 of the expanded Curt story.