Here we go again...
The astute reader might notice that I skipped a page in numbering the story pages this week. Last week was p. 25, and this week is p. 27. I showed this page to a Beta reader whose opinion I respect highly. It made no sense to her. I realized that I left out a significant bit of exposition. I will do the missing page for next week. If I can manage it, I will do an extra page for next week as well. We're coming up on a crucial event or two, and it's vital to have things coherent, especially when reporting on an incoherent time. But I'm still eager to resolve this book.
When we left the story, I had agreed to return to Curt in the hope of entering couples therapy and healing our relationship. Read on.
So much to unpack here. First, layout and design considerations. I have wanted to do a reversed out page for some time, and having just finished Alison Bechdel's The Secret of Superhuman Strength, was also reminded of the device of overlaying slices on a master image. I don't think I've done that before, so like you think, you do. This is hand work as far as the reversal- just ink and ink and ink. I wanted to give a sense of the darkness of the time and of his bleakness. The slice panels may be a bit too simplistic, but I didn't want much detail on them. Some of my hand lettering went south in the third panel, so was redone in Photoshop. I considered redoing all the lettering digitally for consistency's sake, and decided against it.
One of the slice panels has a line texture background, and the others are washes. I don't want to overuse wash backgrounds as a crutch, but they work here. Simple guideline: larger panels, more detailed environments. Smaller panels, not so much. Next page (the missing page) will be three banner panels, so more of a chance to explore the environments. After the Curt chapter of this ends, there will also be a chance to draw some outside stuff. So much has been indoors!
Again, I've condensed some events for narrative flow, but everything I'm showing really happened. Him telling a therapist to drop dead was a shocker, even for him. Other than it happening to me, no overt trans content this week.
One thing a lot of readers ask is why I went along with his demands. So many years later, I still don't have a good answer. I may never have an answer, other than primal emotions. He played on my fears of solitude and being undesirable, and I let him. No excuses, just fear and stupidity.
Pretty bleak, huh? Well, like I told a friend who was learning about this for the first time through this work, it gets a lot worse and then it gets better.
Tools for this page:
- Canson Bristol board
- Mechanical pencil
- Ames lettering guide
- Lead holder and #3B leads
- Kneadable and Faber Castell dust free erasers
- Pen holder and nibs (breaking in a new one - fun!)
- Misc. triangles, t-squares and straightedges
- Micron # .02, .03, .05, .08, 1.0 and Brush tip
- Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
- FW Artist's Acrylic White
- White colored pencil
- Plastic paint palette for washes, 12 wells
- Brushes: Princeton Synthtetic round No. 10, Blick Wonder White Synthetic round No. 6, Silva Renaissance Sable Cat Tongue No. 2, and Tight Spot for corrections
Again, the astute reader will note some small amendments to past tool lists. I allowed myself a small pilgrimage to the art supply store and was glad I did!
Next: the missing page, then on into the fray.
