Back in the saddle again, with another page. This one took a while, mostly due to other time commitments. The page itself was a simple enough page, but it gave me fits. For some reason, I couldn't get it to work. It was a serviceable page, but so dull. The first tier was okay, but the second tier- snore.
After several false starts and a collaboration with Kevyn Lenagh, creator of Domino Chance, I came up with a pragmatic approach to the second tier. Split out the right panel into two, and change the perspective on the first panel. I was finally able to put the page to bed today. I was pleasantly surprised that she liked the page more than I did!
When we left off, Mother had four kids, and Dad, who was away on military duty, had just met someone - else.
Narrative notes: At a family reunion recently, I talked with my sister and my cousin about the ethics of naming names in this work. Their view was that if someone is living, they should not be named. I don't completely agree, but when I'm done with this work, before I go to press, I will delete the name of Dad's second wife. In the text of the first panel, I bounced back and forth between "your kids" and "our kids." I landed on the former, thinking it was consistent with his abrogating responsibility while she didn't. A crucial detail, the fact that Mother was pregnant again when Dad made his announcement, was left out of this page, but will be worked into the next page. I alluded to it by having 5 kids instead of 4 at the dining room table.
Visual notes: This page is intended to provide more background. It is, of necessity, a "workhorse" page. With the framework in place, I can be more adventurous on the next page. The top tier is fairly effective- the old saw of the phone cord works on pre cel phone stories. I like the graphite as night in panel 3. Panels 4 and 5 do what they should do and advance the story, but still lack emotional impact. In this case, I reluctantly decided that it was best to let the text carry the story. I kept the original top tier and reworked the second tier on a separate page, then went into Photoshop and mashed them together.
No tool list this time. Pretty straightforward.
Next: the kids grow a bit and Mother starts to find her way out.
