Original Art Sundays No. 293: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 25

 You know, I didn't think I'd make it this week. It's a good page, but the content... well....

Remember all those times with Delia and Sara before our heroine moved in with Curt? Well, turns out these things are almost always revealed eventually. In the vernacular, I was busted. In most cases, that's the end of the relationship, or the beginning of counseling. In this event, it was the death of my 1972 Picador guitar and my first exile from my new home, with almost no money in my purse and only the clothes on my back.

This was a very difficult page to create from an emotional standpoint. We're starting to get to the really ugly stuff in the relationship. I'm not interested in painting myself a hero, but I do want to show what happened as clearly as I can.

The first layout for this was pure exposition, a talking heads page. Boring! I played with slicing it up in different ways, doing some work with jagged panel edges and lots of little slice panels, but that had no impact. 

This is a big dramatic moment, with lots of action. I realized that his actions had to dominate the page, so settled on the two-column full figure layout. I took some license with his stomping my guitar. It really happened, but it wasn't quite as destructive as shown. He just put his foot through the top and stood there leering shards of the guitar and broken strings tangled stupidly around his foot.

For background consideration, I opted for a simple gray on the panels with me in them, which is repeated in the last panel, to anchor me to the visual space. I referenced the TV, door and windows seen in previous pages showing this space. The gray value comes from ink wash and not a Photoshop solid or texture. I wanted it to look a bit uneven, to echo the emotional content. I like the word balloon effect in the second panel of the right column, the dotted line inside the solid line. I think it emphasizes the smallness of my voice in that moment. I went with a heavier border than usual, again for emphasis. Curt's cast shadow in the last panel was a last minute touch, possibly superfluous, but I don't think it hinders anything.

I still miss that guitar. I've looked into replacing it a few times, but they're very hard to find. I do have other guitars now- more on that in a subsequent page.

The emotional toll of these pages is heavy. The only way I can do it is by focusing on the craft and circling back to be sure the final result isn't too analytical, too cold. Even then, it takes a day after finishing the page to recuperate.

Tools are pretty much the usual with a couple interesting additions:

• Canson Bristol board
• Lead holder with 3B leads
• 3B Castell pencil (good old greenie!)
• Ames lettering guide
  
• Castell eraser
• Micron numbers .02, .05, .08, 1.0 and brush tip
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Ink
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
  
• Round 10 well paint palette (for ink washes)
• Crow Quill and nib
  
• Brushes: Blick No. 2 and No. 6 synthetic
• Tight Spot for corrections
• And our old friend Photoshop 2019

Next: aftermath

Original Art Sundays No. 292: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 24

 The semester has ended (still some grading to plow through!). This is a mixed blessing. More time to work on The Book, but limited large scanner access. So it's back to scanning in tiers on the Brother printer/scanner for a bit. It actually worked out pretty well today. But I do much prefer a large bed scanner. So much easier, such better results overall.

Into the next page:

 

Lots to unpack on this one. First, I'm quite pleased with it.

Narrative: Other than it happening to me, transgender identity isn't a significant part of this page. This page is intended as a meditation on Curt's mindset. We're all heroes in our own minds, and I thought a page showcasing some of his philosophies might be useful. It's too easy to just paint someone as a villain and let it go at that. One of my favorite films, Princess Mononoke, has a very complex villain who could be considered a hero in some respects. I've no desire to make him a hero, but showing some of his perspective helps the story, and it's the decent thing to do.

I originally considered carrying the page title's "gospel" theme further and having him preach from a lectern. But it didn't work visually all that well, and I thought it might cause confusion about his character. He was far from religious. He was agnostic and ridiculed people of faith. I considered doing a second, similar page, quoting him talking about the stupidity of other people, but decided that this would suffice. His actions tell the story, more than anything.

Layout and design considerations: usually, I see the finished page in my mind before I start drawing. Not so here. This went through several evolutions, until it became his soliloquy. After abandoning the lectern concept, I wanted to keep the page title (rendered in Photoshop for fun). So the visual theme called for something preacher-ish to reflect that. I thought about televangelists (reminded of Lenny Bruce describing preachers as "those who save -save every penny they can get their hands on."). That led me to the spotlight and arms up pose of the first panel. The quote about emotions in the second panel is something he said quite often. It's so stark and shocking, so cold and sad, it screamed for chiaroscuro. I am fascinated by the shadows in the third panel. The lettering on one line of that panel got away from me- again, Photoshop to the rescue, using my favorite comic body copy typeface, Scott McCloud's The Sculptor! For the last panel, I tried it with and without my face included. Visually, it works better without, but I think it's necessary to remind readers at this point that the character (me) is living with the snakes in this guy's head. Also, I tried to indicate that he was inches from me and screaming so hard his face turned beet red, because that's how it was.

My only layout regret for the page is the lack of substantial backgrounds. But they will be back next week, so no worries. Loving the lights and darks on this page!

Tools:

• Canson Bristol Board
• Lead holder and #4B lead
• Triangle, T-Square, Ames lettering guide
• Faber Castell eraser
• Micron markers .02, .05, .08, 1.0 and Brush
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• Brother scanner
• And our old friend Photoshop

Next: page 25 of this chapter.

Original Art Sundays No. 291: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 23

 Well.

When we left our intrepid heroine (me), she was settling into a repressive routine with her intended future husband. As she settled, she began to realize just how much settling she's done.

 Lots to unpack here. 

First, layout considerations. Slow zoom in from first to second panel, pull out on the last panel. Fairly static page, where the position of the viewer relative to the subject is pretty much the only thing that changes.

I wanted enough detail to be plausible, and to keep the moment as private as possible. I'm happy with the pose and the layout. Inks are okay and serviceable. His hand did something crazy in the last panel, but I touched it up in Photoshop.

Speaking of Photoshop, my original intent was to reverse the last panel for dramatic effect. It looked dumb. I opted to add a gray value to set the time more clearly.

Debating where it goes on the next page. His bombshell here cries for more exposition, but I'm eager to keep the pace, so I suspect I will go on with the action.

This is typical of abusers. They tend to demean and mistrust, and to think their judgment is better than anyone else's. He manipulated my uncertainty about being lovable as trans woman, and here reveals that my trans status is what drew him to me, but not in a positive way. I'm concluding that there's no need to elaborate on that in the narrative, and I can just let events communicate that.

Tools for this page:

• Canson Bristol board
• Lead holder with 4B lead
• Faber Castell eraser
• Triangle and T-square
• Ames lettering guide
• Micron .02, .05, 1.0 and brush
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Richeson brushes; synthetic no. 6 round, Sable cat tongue no. 2
• Of course, Photoshop

Next: page 24 of this chapter.