Original Art Sundays no. 355: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 55

 Back in the saddle, so to speak! Last week was just too hectic, but we're back on track.

Last week, we saw my court testimony against Curt. He was on trial for disorderly conduct (reduced charge) after his actions against me the previous December.

Read on.

Courtrooms are pretty bland places, visually. This is intentional, to a large extent. Neutral surroundings give advantage to neither side in a conflict.

This courtroom is reconstructed from memory and a few photo references. I added the painting on the wall to give the panel a little weight.

Other art considerations: Panel one is partially open. This is to slow the pace a bit. The full figure echoes the first page of the narrative. The very first panel of the story is me full figure. The kitchen setting and me drinking tea (or is it coffee?) was a whim. The open cupboards are another opportunity to give weight to a very light page, visually. I used the heavy blacks in panels 3 and 5 as counterbalances- one on reader left, one on reader right. I got sick of not being able to control my whiteout, so I got some more options, including a whiteout pen that gives great coverage and is very easy to work with. The texture behind him in panels 4 and 5 was the same thing, just to add a little weight and texture. Very light Photoshop this week. Just some Levels and Curves work, and a slight correction for distortion in the scan.This one was pretty clean.

Focus is never my long suit. I'm thinking about my classes for next semester, while I wrap up the current semester (3 weeks to go!). Along the same lines, I have sketches and notes on the next two major projects, and I'm putting together a small book of completed works. All the while, I'm planning and re-planning the completion of this book.

Here's this week's tool list.

• Canson Bristol Board
• T-squares, triangles, straightedges, Ames lettering guide, erasing guide
• Pencils: Ticonderoga 2B, Derwent 6B and 3B, 0.3 tech pencil and Ebony pencil
• Inks: Quill nib and holder, Dr. Martin's Black Magic matte ink, Copic Multiliner Brush Small, Microns .005, .02, .03, .05 and .08
• Kneadable and plastic erasers
• FW Artists' Acrylic White and Tight Spot correction brush, Whiteout pen
  
• Photoshop

 

Next: the verdict is in.

Original Art Sundays No. 313: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 54

 Court time!

Testifying against the abusive ex!

Narrative notes: As has been happening, this is an abridged version of my testimony. Actual court proceedings are slow and detail oriented, and don't usually make for good storytelling. He really did loudly whisper that to his attorney! I still have that Ankh necklace, and that dress. The dress no longer fits, but I've always loved it and can't bring myself to part with it. The second panel on the top tier could read as abridged testimony, which it is, or as broken phrases due to the raw emotions on the stand. While the former is the truth, both are valid readings.

Art notes: Courtrooms are really kind of boring places, at least visually. They have to be, when you think about it. It's not about the place, it's about what happens there. The backgrounds are sparse and the lighting is very even. Doesn't make for an exciting view. I moved the "camera" a bit, always just on the one axis, to give the page some visual dynamic. This page is completely pen and ink, aside from the corrections. The background completely drops from the bottom tier. This is a deliberate narrative choice. I wanted to push aside everything except the testimony at that point. This page got very messy in scanning for some reason - a ton of little artifacts! I did the usual Photoshop tricks: levels, dust and scratches, threshold. But it came down to tedium with eraser and brush tools. It's not my best page, but it works.

Next: one more page of court, possibly two if I can't resolve a layout challenge, two pages of aftermath,  and a page of goodbye. Then this chapter is done.

Original Art Sundays No. 312: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 53

 Hello all!

I concentrated on Inktober (and midterm grades) during the last month.  I will post my Inktober work as time permits, and I may compile a small book of the last two years of October Inks. Now that I've completed that work for now, it's back to the book.

When we left our heroines, Diana (myself) and Jennifer were en route to Madison, WI. I was going there to testify against Curt, who insisted on a jury trial on disorderly conduct charges, stemming from his attempted attack on me six months earlier. 

Read on.

Story notes: this page provides a small glimpse into Jenny's personality, in her facial expressions and curiosity. It's a necessary step in the story- we have to get there for the trial to happen, of course. I'm always struck by how much you can do with so little in comics. One small caption covers an entire trip! I might have the mileage wrong- didn't bother to double check it, since I've done that particular journey so many times over the years. Side note: 3/4 of the page is devoted to a hair style. Make of that what you will.

Layout and art notes: My photo reference for the Dane County Courthouse was limited, so I extrapolated an exterior from available information. The telescoped perspective (trompe l'oilel) is surface plausible, but hurts if you look at it too long. This page was rather sparse, so I dropped in some Photoshop textures.  It felt weird - good but weird- to be working on comics again after a month of just drawing. There's a slight distortion to the bottom edge. Most of the time, my new trick of taking a phone photo and dropping it into Photoshop on the laptop works fine, but there are idiosyncrasies. I suspect that when the book is complete, prior to a re-edit, I will need to take a couple weeks and just re-scan, re-draw, rewrite...

Lots of artifacts on this week's page! Photoshop cleanup was crucial. I wasn't paying attention to my tools, and grabbed a 6B pencil for most of the layout, making cleanup a challenge. I re-lettered Panel Two in PS, using the Scott McCloud The Sculptor typeface. I recently read that again. It's so good! It reminds me of the possibilities of the form, technical, narrative and spiritual.

During Inktober, I splurged on new brushes, nibs and inks. I've forgotten how much smoother the work is when one doesn't have to fight one's tools.

The tools this week are the usual suspects:

• Canson Bristol Board
• T-squares, triangles, straightedges, Ames lettering guide, erasing guide
• Pencils: Ticonderoga 2B, Derwent 6B and 3B, 0.3 tech pencil and Ebony pencil
• Inks: Quill nib and holder, Dr. Martin's Black Magic matte ink, Copic Multiliner Brush Small, Microns .005, .02, .03, .05, .08, and 1.0 (lots of Micron use on this page)
• Kneadable and plastic erasers
• FW Artists' Acrylic White and Tight Spot correction brush
• Photoshop

Next: We see Curt again.

Original Art Sundays No. 311: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 52

 As alluded to, we're not done with him yet. The nature of the ominous phone call is revealed...

So... off to court! I'd only been in court once before (car trouble- the police found marijuana in the glove box). I really wasn't sure what to expect. And yes, there was a drastic haircut involved, which will be covered on our next page. This trip really forged my relationship with Jenny, and gave me a much-needed fresh perspective on Curt.

Logistically, this page was fun. I looked at several road trip comics: the 70s Green Lantern/Green Arrow run, some moments in Omaha the Cat Dancer (especially the scene where she's taking a bus to Wisconsin!), The Archies miniseries (which was so good!) and the last issue of JMS's Midnight Nation, which I've been re-reading a lot lately. I got the framework for this page from that last book, and was able to modify it to suit my narrative. The faces elongated just a bit, but it's okay, as I was quite thin when I got done with him- so much so that at least one friend thought I had some ailment causing weight loss. Well, in a way, I suppose I did. Layout is pretty direct. Weight in the top tier comes from a background texture. The inset slice panel of tier 2 reestablishes the scene, and we cut to car interiors for the bottom tier. After the info dump in panel four, there's a slow buildup to an introspective moment. We go closer on the face, then tight on one feature, the eyes (an old film trick that usually works). I love the reduction of the rest of the car interior to silhouette in panels five and six. This page condenses approximately three weeks of real time. Many necessary legal logistics are left out of the narrative.

Materials:

• Basic tools: Drawing Board, T-square, triangle, straightedge, Ames lettering guide
  
• Pencils: Ticonderoga 2B, Cumberland 3B, Pasler 6B, lead holder with 4B lead, and tech pencil with 3B lead.
• Erasers: Staedtler Mars plastic and kneadable erasers
• Dr. Martin's Black Matte Ink, FW Artists' Acrylic White
  
• ALL the Micron tech markers (.005 to 1.0) and Copic Brush Tip Marker
• Brushes: Grumbacher no. 2 flat,  Princeton 1/4" mini-detailer, Tight Spot
• Photoshop (minimal corrections this time! Mostly I do Threshold and Levels work, sometimes Curves)
  

Next: Testify!

Original Art Sundays no. 310: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 51

 Only one page this week, campers. Next several pages are written and next page is laid out and on the board. As mentioned last week, we're coming into the busy season. I'm eager to keep up the pace without driving myself crazy!

A moment of bliss in the previous page, as a new relationship begins. But life never holds still, much as we might want it to... 

Story Notes: Once again, the timeline is condensed for narrative purposes. There were several months between my leaving Curt and courting Jenny, and a few more until we lived together. While it's exciting to live through the growth of a new relationship, it doesn't make for good storytelling. I just discussed this with my students. The 1990s storytelling movement spawned attempts to make books of the oral narratives. The books were failures. What works in daily life and personal interaction doesn't always work on the page.

Art Notes: The scene is the star here. The characters are literally embedded in the setting, using the basic principle of foreground/midground/background. That's a very fun park and walking path, still going strong. The last panel was done on a separate page and imported in Photoshop. The original version showed me running to catch the phone call, and it was just an unreadable mess. There's little actual action on this page, so the rule comes into play: something must always move. If the characters aren't moving, the perspective (camera) must. I'm using a heavier outline on much of this page, especially panel two.

Next: we hit the road.

Original Art Sundays No. 309: Sharp Invitations: Curt, pp. 49 (rework) and 50

 Back at it, folks!

I corrected the first panel of the last page and am reposting the page to start, followed by the next page. I am very close to completion of the following page, but not quite there. Here are pages 49 and 50.

In the current narrative, we're talking about rebuilding a life. These pages continue that theme.

Not much new to say about the first page after last week's discussion. This is mainly a correction, after all. That first panel is an improvement over last week's posting, using a more direct angle and a tighter shot (and better drawing). Keep it simple! Just rendered on a different piece of Bristol and patched it in with Photoshop. My facial expression in he new version of Panel One is what I was hoping to convey- just barely holding on, but trying to smile anyway.

Page 50 of this chapter is most of what I'm saying about Jennifer in this book. Our relationship had its challenges, as they all do, but she's living her own life now and I want to respect her privacy. We saw each other through some rough times, and I am grateful to her. She had such intense joy! Jenny was also trans, which will be discussed a bit in a future page. After I wrote this page, I realized that I had lifted the last line from my man Micheal Nesmith. But the sentiment was so right, I decided to let it go. I drew the portrait of us on Coquille board instead of Bristol, using classic pen and ink with China marker (AKA grease pencil). The stuff is really pricey, but I love the look and would like to use it more often! I became attached to it in the 90s when I found out you could get a halftone from it without a stat camera. I do so love old school production art. For this page, I wanted a simple border, vaguely reminiscent of Art Noveau, around the illustration, and floating text above and beneath. It's been a while since I did a decorative border, and it felt nice to flex that particular muscle again. I was, in my small way, emulating the master of the Noveau border in comics, Terry Moore. But it needed to be fairly simple, so I opted for just some nice flowing overlapping curves. The border and text were done on a separate sheet of Canson Bristol board and merged in Photoshop.

I keep saying I'm almost done with this chapter. Yet on it goes. Much like what Alan Moore said about his groundbreaking run on Miracleman, it was a simple idea, but it grew in the telling. The bulk of it is complete. There are three significant events yet to document, and an afterword. Then a brief chapter on each of my parents and a final word. I'm so charged to do the work right now. I'm trying new techniques, revisiting old ones, and embracing the work. If I can manage two pages a week, the bulk of the book could be complete by year end. That's a realistic goal, I think. Of course, I also plan to do Inktober again this year... possibly more Coquille pieces... and I need to grade and teach and... 

Yet the book gets done. I will have faith, and welcome you to do the same.

Next: Things are finally going well for our heroine, and that's unlikely to change, right? Right? Well....

Original Art Sundays No. 308: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 49

 Running a little late tonight! Friday's opening celebration of the MCAD Faculty Biennial was a wonder. So grateful to have my work seen and liked. It's also liberating to present work about trans issues and abuse survival to my colleagues and students. In retrospect, I probably should have combed my hair before the photo was taken!

Now on to this week's page. 

Two weeks ago: homeless shelter and a bus to Minneapolis. Last week: reflection and self-recrimination. What happens next?

Narrative notes: This is necessary but tedious. The process of normalizing a life, crucial as it is, involves stuff that doesn't make for great drama. I've condensed almost half a year's events into this page rather than bog the story down in minutia. I assumed that most people know what a PCA is, so didn't explain in detail. The exchange in the last panel was actually between me and Sara, but I used it as a vehicle to convey that I was back in therapy. That particular therapist was what I needed at the time, but in the long run not a good fit.

Visual notes: That first panel is so clunky! I had a much better idea for it after it was done and scanned, and I will re-post the page with the proper panel in place next week, along with a new page. The rest of the page works okay. It's not a spectacular page, but it serves the story, which is the most important thing. The last panel seems strongest, with solid environments, good character interaction and the interesting little panel border violation.

What happens next? Well, let's just say he's not quite out of the story yet...

Original Art Sundays No 307: Sharp Invitiations: Curt, p. 48

 Time, time, time, see what's become of me...

Sorry, in a bit of a Simon & Garfunkel mood. I do love that song.

We're on the overnight bus in a bitter winter, contemplating and regretting.

Went through some real changes on this one. Originally it was going to be a "putting your life back together" page, but that seemed a bit abrupt. We need a moment to consider everything that's happened before moving on. I suddenly remembered that Francine painting in Vol. 3 book 6, the one where she's quasi-fetal, holding her foot and looking ruefully to the side. I started off trying to copy that, then made the pose my own. I liked the idea of a contained nude pose, all lost and vulnerable. My initial concept was to do ink wash over the figure, progressively darker as we go down, with rough torn edges between gradations. Then I thought about masking the figure and using ink wash through rough burlap. Both ideas have merit, but not for this page. Besides, my frisket seems to have dried up.

As I drew the figure, the concept of a flashback collage came to me. So it was back to the old files and Photoshop to the rescue! Yay, layers and masks!

No need for an equipment list this week.

One of the questions I'm asked often by people who read this work is the obvious one: why did I stay around? There's no simple answer, and it's a question I continue to ask myself. I suspect that any abuse survivor has a similar internal dialogue. I don't know if it's easier or harder being trans when it comes to abuse. I suspect abuse is abuse. Trans is just one more thing they can use against you in that context.

On a more positive note, the MCAD Faculty Biennial has its official opening this Friday! There are 14 pages from this work in the show, along with a banner created for the show. I hope to see many friends there. So much great art to celebrate....

Next: TCB.

Original Art Sundays: Sharp Invitations: Curt, pp. 46 & 47

 Once more....

Two pages this week, but one is a recap. The astute reader will recall that the previous chapter ended with a preview of this chapter, me getting on a bus. We're at that point in the story, so let's jump in.

When we left our heroine, she was being taken to a homeless shelter.

Read on.

Story notes: That was one lonely, scary night! I was treated well- actually, largely ignored, which under the circumstances, was fine with me. A little artistic license on the collapse in the shower. It did happen, but not so dramatically as all that. I hadn't mentioned the short job I was fired from at this time until now. I hope that doesn't cause confusion in the reader, but aside from getting that last paycheck, it really has nothing to do with the core story. Really, there's so much tedium involved in tearing your life apart that the details seem so unnecessary after the fact.The worker at the shelter was very decent, even setting me up with toiletries when I got there. I disclosed my trans status so it didn't create more problems, and was treated decently.

Art notes: Very light blacks this week. There were a couple places where I considered adding more value, but I was unhappy with my experiments with it. Keep it simple and clean. Almost no brush on this page. Lots of nib work, and a bit of Copic brush marker, along with the usual assortment of Microns.In light of that, I shan't post an equipment list this week.

Shan't. That shows class.

I really like the second panel. That's a case where I played with adding tone to the tiles, as I've done in the past, but decided to keep it simple.

Wow, I've been drawing a lot of bathrooms lately!

The second page is a recap, with just the caption text changed. I considered changing the thought balloon, but hey, if that's what the character thought in the flash forward, that's what she's thinking now. Just a bit of Photoshop on this one for the text and we're good to go.

Side note: I was prepping for my fall teaching load, and I had a chance to preview my work hanging in the MCAD Biennial show. I'm very happy with it. I chose what I think are some of my strongest pages, and the display is very effective. The show will be open before then (it may be now), but the opening ceremony is Friday, September 9. I would be happy to see friendly faces there to share my work. Other MCAD comic creators will also be represented, including Zak Sally, Blue Dellaquanti and Barb Schulz. Delighted to be in such distinguished company!

Next: back to Minneapolis, as we near the completion of this chapter. In the original draft manuscript, this chapter was eleven pages. Looks like the final version will be 60 - 70 pages, almost a book on its own.

Guess I had a little more to say than I thought I did.

Original Art Sundays no. 305: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p.45

 Once more into the breach, dear friends. When we left our intrepid couple, Curt had made his intentions clear. Read on.

First, we discuss the story.

Events unfolded in this way, but there was a 24 hour gap between him telling me to go and my exit. We had out of town company the next day, quite awkward. I do wish I'd put on the other pants! The cop is modeled on a Madison cop who used to work security for Rocky Horror when I was running the Majestic in Madison. Really nice guy. We had long talks about Stephen King. Last time I saw him was after I transitioned and he was still decent to me, something I haven't always experienced from law enforcement. I remember him fondly. I wish all cops were as respectful to trans people as he was to me.

Art notes: I went a bit overboard on the first panel, with a wild pose inspired partially by the Bob Clampett classic The Great Piggy Bank Robbery. I do enjoy that loose style, but it doesn't always serve the story. One of my occasional beta readers suggested that the left (back) arm could swing out a little more. I followed that suggestion and it worked. 

The rest of the page is pretty procedural. It was a lonely, scared night and I wanted to show that without saying it outright. Given where I went, it was fairly easy. 24 hour groceries have mind numbingly even lighting. It's very disconcerting. For the last 5 panels, my goal was to include sufficient detail to communicate and no more. The characters inside the police car are a visual idea I want to work on more - characters seen inside the environment, as opposed to placed atop it or in front of it. Characters behind desks, seen through foliage, wandering through ruins with large bent metal in front of them- you get the idea. It encourages deeper involvement in the story. Some of the lines in the last panel dropped out a bit. I'll push it more in Photoshop, as is my way.

Same equipment list as last week, so I won't repeat it. There is the notable inclusion of a couple new tools: a Copic small brush marker and a Deerfoot 1/4 Mini Detailer brush. It's an angled tip, very chunky, and gives a delightful scumbling line. Very thick handle, feels good to hold. I suspect it will get a lot of use as a dry brush tool. You can see some of it in the "light lines" around the lightpost in panel 3. 

Next week: the shelter.

Original Art Sundays No. 304: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 44

 What a week! Somehow I got the next page done and did a good job, despite attending Autoptic and doing more prep for the MCAD Faculty Biennial show. Autoptic was such a delight! So many people I haven't seen for too long, a couple possible publishers, and bought a bunch of cool comics. There's some works where I like the art, some where I like the writing, and some where both shine. Such events lead me to ponder the possibilities of our chosen art form. In a conversation after the event, I mused on expanding my comics work. I was told I'd never make a lot of money, but that's not the point. I want the same things I always wanted. I want to tell my stories. I want to improve my craft. And I want someone to get something out of them. If I can get a few bucks or some recognition/accolades along the way, that would be great, but that's not why I do it. Events like Autoptic remind you of that, in the best way.

Ahem. The story at hand.

When we left our hapless couple, he had just thrown an ashtray at me. It shattered on the wall behind me. Then he trashed another guitar. 

Read on.

I like a lot about this page. The top banner panel, done in pencil, is quite effective, I think. Breaking up the thoughts in a banner panel is a nice pacing device. I'm sure it's been used before, but I don't recall seeing it anywhere. The next three panels are clean and serviceable, but the silhouette of the strange action in the last panel also works well. So often the simplest things pose the most interesting artistic challenges, like a woman sweeping a floor or getting into bed. He never did use the gun, but it was in my thoughts, so it's part of the story. My line in Panel 2: I was taking a real risk, being that sarcastic when he was escalating like that. He'd knocked me down a couple times before that, but there's a clear and dangerous progression to these things, and he was very close to giving himself permission to physically attack me more intensely.

The moment in the last panel bordered on absurdity. What a weird thing to do. He was pushing me with his torso, so he could claim he didn't lay a hand on me.

Thought on last week's page: one of my readers liked the iris panel of his hand grabbing the guitar neck. That inspired me, so I might put together a small sketchbook of guitar illustrations I've done over the years, and throw in a couple new ones. I don't want to lose sight of my big goal, but there's something to be said for completing a small project along the way.  

Almost no ink brush work on this page.

Tools for this page:

• Canson Bristol board, Bristol strip slipsheet, masking tape
  
• iPhone for photo reference.
• T-square, triangle, Ames lettering guide
• Tech pencil, Cumberland 6B pencil, HB, 3B and 4B Woodless pencils
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• Blick #6 Round Brush
• Pen nib & holder
• Micron .005, .01, .02, .03, .05, .08, 1.0
• Faber Castell Brush Tip Marker, Copic Small Brush Tip
  
• Plastic eraser
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Tight Spot correction brush - treated myself to a new one of these this week, along with some papers I plan on experimenting with soon.

Next: one foot out the door in the coldest of winters.

Original Art Sundays no. 303: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 43

 Next page!

When we left our hapless couple, Curt was preparing to throw an ashtray. Anyone taking odds on him following through?

Content notes: This happened, but not quite this way. I didn't see him trash another guitar, but I did see the wrecked guitar afterwards. This guitar, which I also loved, was a replacement he got me for the one he destroyed a couple months prior. That will be covered in the text of the next page.

Craft throughts: Time in comics is so elastic. I can cover months or years in one panel, or cover one night in multiple pages as I'm doing here, or make a single moment so elastic as Scott McCloud does in the exquisite framing sequence for The Sculptor. We're also manipulating perspective here. The first panel is from my POV, the second from his, while the rest of the page is back to my viewpoint.

I would like the darks to have more weight in the first two panels. I like clean lines (the clare ligne technique used in Tintin is so delicious), but it doesn't always serve the narrative. Also, it's not really my style, although I certainly lean towards it! I love the iris on panels three and four. While it was intended as just a design device, the iris on the last panel resembles an eye opening shape- a happy accident. The inks on Curt's face in the final panel went someplace strange, so a bit of Photoshop cleanup was in order. I've been considering trying different illustrative programs, as I sometimes find Photoshop limiting for my purposes and my Illustrator chops are very rusty.

I continue to prepare for the MCAD Faculty Biennial, doing digital prints of some pages, cleaning up others, meeting with the new gallery director to go over the plan for the work's exhibition. Fall semester also looms large, so it is indeed the busy season! But new pages continue to present themselves and evolve on my board, sort of a Petri dish of comic art. I have two comics and an illustrated novella in the hopper after this work is completed. Keeping joy, pace and spirit remain crucial.

Tools for this page:

• Canson Bristol board, plain paper slipsheet, masking tape
  
• iPhone for photo reference.
• T-square, triangle, Ames lettering guide
• Tech pencil, Paster 6B pencil, HB Woodless pencil
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• Blick #6 Round Brush
• Pen nib & holder
• Micron .005, .01, .02, .03, .05, .08, 1.0
• Faber Castell Brush Tip Marker
• Plastic eraser
• Photoshop

Next: Hang on, dear readers, I'm nearly done with this chapter. But as I told one of my readers last week, these things must be done delicately, or you hurt the spell.

Original Art Sundays No. 302: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 42

 Okay, here we go!

When we last saw Curt, he was charging at me, full of rage.

Read on.

This was a tricky layout. The first panel portrays a really clumsy moment (in a physical sense). I almost went full cartoon on this one, since it was so absurd. Then this was going to be silhouette, but it seemed too ominous. I opted for a borderline approach- loose figures, awkward poses and just enough text to clarify the action. I opted for simple pencil for the ground shading, a leadless HB.

The second panel establishes the space from an angle we haven't seen before. For a simple, boring room with tedious 1970s architecture, this space is really challenging to draw! I took half a dozen reference shots of a similar setup in my living room, tried drawing it from six different perspectives. Nothing worked. Finally, I decided to simplify and make it about the characters, then made the environment another character. The anchor points related to other pages are the cabinets on the far wall and the open area where Mother's painting once was. No facial expressions in this panel. I wanted the poses to convey the emotions. Also, that's a really tiny drawing of a human body!

The last panel goes tight on his reaching hand an foreshadows the next page.  There's also the visual device of the hand reaching towards the corner, encouraging the reader to turn the page. Large curved area of black serves to anchor the panel.

I was almost late with this page, as I was also preparing work for the upcoming MCAD Faculty Biennial show this week. Show goes up in late August. Rest assured there will be photos. I reviewed about 30 recent pages and selected 14. The pleasant surprise was how much I liked some of them! My internal .dialogue on my art, my writing, my craft, leans towards lament. I tend to dwell on how much time has slipped by me and how the work suffers from that. That's human, but also very self-indulgent. My consolations/realizations are that the work is stronger than I think it is, and that if I use my time well, I can do 50 - 100 pages a year. If I manage to keep going another 20 years, that's a lot of story!

Tools for this page:

• Canson Bristol board, plain paper slipsheet, masking tape
  
• iPhone for photo reference.
• T-square, triangle, Ames lettering guide
• Tech pencil, Paster 6B pencil, HB Woodless pencil
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• Blick #6 Round Brush
• Pen nib & holder
• Micron .005, .01, .02, .03, .05, .08, 1.0
• Faber Castell Brush Tip Marker
• Plastic eraser
• Photoshop

Next: things break.

Original Art Sundays No. 301: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 41

 As promised, a little action!

When we left our hapless couple, Curt had just snapped - I mean really snapped - because the phone rang and somebody hung up. 

The story: this is where I finally accepted the truth, that the problem wasn't me, it was him. I'm taking slight liberties with the timeline and omitting some events that bog things down. It all happened, but over a full day and night, and briefly involved some out of town guests, awkward witnesses to some of this miasma. It will take two or three more pages to resolve these events and a few more to deal with the aftermath.

In most abuse narratives, there's a point where the victim finally accepts that they don't deserve to be treated that way. This was that moment for me. All that's left is survival.

Again, sparse backgrounds. The details fall away until nothing is left but the two of us, the crucible of the relationship's ugly truth. Gray values come from Ebony pencil and brush marker (a faded one giving a wispy edge), much more effective than wash or regular marker, I think. Using the old saw of having the panels touch on the top tier to slow time. Then things open up. Violation of the border on the 2/3 splash magnifies the figure and slows time again, despite this being an action driven panel. The distance between the tow of us is, of course, elongated for effect. I adapted the pose from one of my favorite books, Colleen Doran and Derek McCullough's Gone to Amerikay, a later page. There's been relatively little physical action in my story, and it feels good to break that. I recall an MCAD professor, Peter Gross, looking at someone else's page, a big action pose, and saying, "yeah, THAT'S comics!" Light whiteout here and there, mostly nib and Micron on this page. Photoshop used only for light correction on this one.

I noticed as the page evolved that this page was an ironic and bittersweet hint of an earlier page, where he came to visit me in Minneapolis and I ran to him. Here's a reprint of the earlier page for comparison.

More and more I find that my style is becoming itself. An elusive concept, which sounds much more high handed than it is. Every page, every image, is about discovering and rediscovering my natural artistic tendencies, ideally always in service to the story.

Tools:

• Canson Bristol board
• Ames Lettering guide
• Triangle, T-Square
• Tech pencil, Derwent 3B pencil, Ebony pencil
  
• Faber Castell Eraser, kneadable eraser
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Tight Spot
• Tech markers: Micron .02, .03, .05, .08 and Faber Castell Brush Tip
• Slip sheet

Next: the last fight continues. Something gets thrown.

Original Art Sundays (MOnday) no. 300: Sharp Invitations: Curt, pp. 39 and 40

 Posting on Monday this week. I wanted to take the time to make this a double header. Not only is it a crucial moment in the story, but it's post # 300! Something of a milestone that leads me to reflect on my art, my goals and the evolution of my process.

When we left our happy couple, they were in the throes of a very tentative idyllic domestic bliss. Here's what happened next.

That's the way domestic abuse goes. Everything can seem just peachy, and some innocent thing, like a phone ringing, can detonate an explosion. No overt trans content in this part of the narrative.

The backgrounds on p. 39 are tentative but serviceable. I put in a wash background on the first panel, used an old school marker on the third, and blended them out in Photoshop.

I got excited with a couple things on these pages. The last panel of p. 39 is influenced by Alan Davis' work on Miracleman issue 3, page 21, last panel. I got all brave inking this one with just one brush, and was very satisfied with the results. Some Kirby special effects were modified after the fact in Photoshop. The poses reflect the characters' emotional state, a lesson I took to heart from Archie Comics artist Harry Lucey.

The splash page was such fun! A few weeks ago, I was intrigued by an accidental ink smear and the energy the effect gave. I wanted to to incorporate it into this story, and this seemed the perfect opportunity. To get the effect, I used Frisket to mask out a pencil illustration, then masked the live area border. I used a slip sheet to cover the text area, went in with my favorite ink and a big #8 angle brush, let it dry and then just lifted the Frisket. The Frisket is applied using either a brush pre-treated with dish soap, or with adjustable nib ruling pens. This process requires patience. Everything has to dry and fully set up before moving on to the next page. I love this process and will use it again where it serves the story.

The crucial question is always what goes in and what stays out. Editing, especially in your own work, is a three step process: selection, combination and elimination. I love intricate and detailed comic work. But more and more, I find I'm working by Alex Toth's mantra.

I'm very excited that this chapter is so close to resolution. This is the trick middle of the book. Most of the first third is done, and the aftermath of this chapter and the story resolution remain. I greatly appreciate my readers sticking around for this journey!

Tools used on these pages:

• Canson Bristol Board 
• Triangle and T-Square, Ames lettering guide, masking tape, slipsheet (printer paper)
  
• 3B Derwent Pencil, tech pencil
• Inkwell dish
  
• Ballpoint pen
  
• Pen nib and holder
• Microns: .02, .03, .05, .08, 1.0 and brush tip
• Prismacolor marker gray 50%
• Dish soap
• Adjustable nib ruling pen
• Faber-Castell plastic eraser
• Dr. Martin's Black Magic Ink
• FW Acrylic White
• Dr. Martin's Acrylic Frisket
• Rubber Cement Pickup
• Brushes: Kingart Round 04, 06 & 08, Grumbacher Flat 02, Royal Synthetic Flat Angle 08, Princeton 10 round, Blick 02 & 06 round

Next: it gets more intense.

Original Art Sundays No. 299: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 38

 Another page into the fray.

I was originally doing a second page for this week, as a bridge to next week's action, but I did a very similar page to the one planned earlier in the story (the page about him dating me because, as  trans woman, I couldn't get pregnant), so decided to forego.

 

 

 I do like doing these quick gag strips on occasion. They're a nice break. So fast and loose! They're freeing, and a good way to advance the story by small anecdote. Aside from light cleanup in Photoshop, this is pretty much the original. At one point, I considered doing the whole book this way. I shied away from it because that's the not the kind of work I like doing most of the time, and because Sophie LaBelle already does it so deftly over at Assigned Male Comics!

The astute reader will recall that Curt prided himself on being logical. The incongruity in his opinions on this was a shocker and a bit of a road into his mindset. Also, I love musicals, so this hit me in the gut.

We're entering a period of relative calm before the final storm, so something lighter is called for.

Very simple tools this week.

• Printer paper
• 3B Cumberland Derwent pencil, tech pencil
• Ames lettering guide
• Staedler Mars plastic eraser
• Ballpoint pen
• Photoshop
  
• Scan done with IPhone 12

That's it! 

Next: the calm ends, the storm starts.

Original Art Sundays No. 298: Sharp Invitations: Curt, pp. 36 and 37

 Hello again!

Two pages this week instead of one! I was having fun with it and decided to push a bit. 

This is my response to Curt's reaction to my attempt to slit my wrists.

Well, out of the fire and into surrender! Really, I tried running away, I tried escaping into death (however halfheartedly). The only thing left to try was surrender. Plus, part of me always wanted to be the little housewife. I don't think it's every trans woman's dream, but it was one of mine. However, I myopically believed I wouldn't have to surrender my autonomy to fulfill it.

Also, as anyone who's been involved in domestic abuse will tell you, it's a labyrinth, a tangled mess of conflation and subversion. It's jarring to live through, but excessive detail on such things makes for a convoluted and uninteresting story. Better to condense and summarize.

Soliloquy and paper dolls seemed a good way to sum up this turn of events. This story is a bit heavy, and an occasional respite is called for. Plus- paper dolls, what fun! I've done paper dolls of most of my other characters, so why not me? In my research, I discovered that the Cleavers' home town of Mayfield isn't in a specific state, hence the USA locale. All the costumes are period, evoking the 1960s housewife cliche, except the Omaha lingerie, which is there in homage to sensei Reed Waller. They're also all things I really enjoy.

Layout is pretty direct on these. I've done soliloquy pages earlier in this story, and followed the same pattern of reversal/reversal. I love the high five in the last panel on that page. 

Tools for these two pages:

• Canson Bristol Board, tracing paper
  
• Pencils: Tech pencil, 2B Ticonderoga, 3B and 6B Cumberland Derwent, 4B Graphite stick
• Holder & Nib, ballpoint pen
• Triangle, straightedge, T-square
  
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte ink
• Brushes: Blick #6 Synthetic Round, Escoda Kolinsky Sable Flat #4. Tight Spot for corrections
• Microns: .03, .05, .08, Brush Tip
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Photoshop

Next: Domestic tranquility moments, the calm before the final storm.

Original Art Sundays No. 297: Curt, p. 35

 Once more into the breach, dear friends.

When we left our heroine (me), the half-assed suicide attempt was truncated by a neighbor's phone ringing. Before I could clean up, Curt came home. How will he react to the woman he claims to love attempting such a thing?

Well, there you have it. As was noted by one of my Beta readers, knives are intended for cutting meat, so his asinine wrath was also factually inaccurate. This is what happened, but I condensed events slightly for narrative flow. But even with the danger implicit in living in this situation, it starts to seem absurd at some point. Abusers often pride themselves on reason, but are often irrational in their micromanagement and rage. The challenge is to navigate their anger and feed into their egos.

Again, no overt trans content on this page, other than it being a trans woman's story.

Technical notes: The layout is pretty direct and flows well. I particularly like the tight shots of Curt's eyes framing his gaze down the cut arm to the bloody knife. At one point, I had divided that long panel in thirds, but it seemed more of a distraction than a dramatic effect. I hand-rendered the text, but reworked it in Photoshop. Lower energy, but it reads better. A sense of place is crucial to this page. Perspective is key on the first panel. I seldom do such detailed work on environments, but this is a time where it's necessary to ground the space. Looking at it now, the page still needs a couple minor corrections, but it's 95% there.

The gray values on the ceiling in Panel 1 are a simple gradient.

Instead of scanning, I tried a photo with my iPhone 12. I'm not 100% happy with this method. Too much work in post to get the levels right. If my other option, using the document capture in Notes, yields similar results, I'll just go back to scanning. 

I used my favorite scumbling brush with masking tape on panel 3 (the arm). Don't you love simple production tricks? I got this fascinating sort of dry brush smear by accident on my drawing board, and it's inspired me for a page down the line. A pen nib and a brush marker died creating this page. We will now observe a moment of silence.

Tools:

• Canson Bristol Board
• Pencils: Ticonderoga 2B, Paster Classics 6B, 4B graphite stick
• Erasers: Staedtler Mars Plastic, kneadable eraser, erasing guide
  
• Brushes: Blick #2 synthetic Masterstroke, Blick #6 Synthetic round
• Pen nib and holder
• Microns: .005, .02, .05, .08, 1.0 and brush
• Photoshop

Next: survival strategies.

Original Art Sundays No. 296: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 34

 Hi, all. Here we go with the next page.

Last time we saw our heroine (me), she was in the tub, high on booze and prescription meds and bleeding out of her cut wrist.

Here's what happened next.

It's often something mundane that stops these attempts. I read a writer's account of their own attempt (I'm embarrassed to say I can't recall whose). They were all ready to do it, to end their lives, staring at the gun, when they got a casual call from a friend who was unaware of the crisis, inviting them to a ball game. They went but never told the friend what that friend had done for them. 

One little thing. That's all it takes sometimes.

In my case, someone else's phone rang. I went on automatic pilot to answer the phone. Can't be rude, you know.

This page also serves as a reminder of some of the small and not so small things that drove me to the attempt in the first place. Curt not trusting me to do something as simple as carrying on a phone call, me being so afraid of his reaction to anything I was doing.

Technical aspects: we're back to a pretty standard grid this week. Just advancing the narrative panel by panel. I'm in every panel, but not full face shot until the last panel, my shocked reaction to his return home. 

Nothing overtly about trans identity on this page, but it's one of the core elements of the story, so its presence or absence must needs be noted.

I'm back to rendering background textures in wash and grease pencil. It seems to serve me well as my style continues to evolve. There's a little #2 pencil texture on the tub surface. I continue to grow my relationship to backgrounds/environments, following Ursula Murray Husted's encouragement to think of the environment as a character. I balance that against a line that sticks with me from David Chelsea's Perspective for Comic Book Artists, in which one of his characters describes the function of perspective not as mechanical accuracy, but as a desire to "make things more or less plausible." Think about it. Realistic mechanical rendering isn't always necessary or desirable, in that it doesn't always serve the story. And one should always do what serves the story. It doesn't have to look precise, but it does have to look real, in the context of the story.

The last panel really got away from me in early attempts! The first inked version had a distorted, elongated face with a mouth one might find on a blow-up doll. So back to tracing paper, whiteout, and re-rendering. The final panel was still messy. I cleaned it up in Photoshop, then put some of the mess back for effect. I might do just a bit more correction on this before going to press, but it's pretty much there. It was fun drawing a body just out of the tub and not toweled off. Those little drippy effects are exciting to play with.

Tools for this page:

• Canson Bristol Board
• Pencils: 2B Ticonderoga, Lead holder and 3B lead, 4B graphite stick
• Erasers: Steadler Mars plastic eraser, kneadable eraser
  
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Plastic painting palette for washes
  
• Tight Spot brush for corrections
• Pen nib and holder
• Brushes: Blick No. 6 round synthetic, Reeves No. 8 nylon flat for washes
• Photoshop

Next: will Curt be sympathetic and supportive? What do you think?

Original Art Sundays No. 295: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 33

 Hi, all.

After numerous delays, here is the next page.

This one was a huge challenge. The actual layout and illustration was relatively easy. The art and layout only took a day or two. But in doing it, I had to face my own stupidity and relive some stuff I've long put behind me. 

I'm not that person any more, and revisiting her was anguish. Still, memoir demands honesty, so here we are. My challenge remains the same: show these events honestly without romanticizing or sensationalizing them. I'm not doing violence porn.

When we left off, I had taken a few too many prescription meds, washed them down with liquor, grabbed a knife and headed for the bathroom. What happened next is pretty predictable.

I had drawn this conventionally, using conventional tools. When the art was done, I realized that this page would be more effective reversed out, so Photoshop to the rescue again! I penciled the borders with a straightedge and inked them freehand to get that ragged effect I use from time to time. 

The tub panel is a variation on a panel I used in a similar storyline in my old Tranny Towers strip.

Thoughts: the bathtub looks like a coffin. I wasn't overtly aware of that until I worked on this page. Also, since that day, I've preferred showers to baths. It's still hard for me to relax in the tub. I didn't make that connection until this.

Abuse victims are prone to depression and suicide attempts, especially while it's going on. This is not unique to trans people. I contend that our suicide rate is higher, not because we're more unstable (we're not), but because so many people seem to want to make our lives harder, either for "our own good" or for their own venal, perverse amusement. When supported and encouraged to live full lives, trans people tend to thrive. Yes, some of us are messed up, but you could say the same about cis people. That just makes us human. As noted in the "Get A Job" chapter of this book, when I came out to my boss, I was told that they would be watching my work more closely, even though I was the same person doing the same job. Think about that for a minute. When you come out, your relationships, family, home and safety are threatened. Great time to add stress to the job! Thanks, boss!

That approach has improved in a lot of companies and organizations over the ensuing years. The narrative now is, more often than not, "what can we do to help?" Likewise, many families and loved ones are now much more supportive of trans people in their lives. Again, far from everyone, but it's better.

I am grateful that at least some of the world is behaving more humanely about trans issues.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to volunteer at the Sexual Violence Center. I suppose I still do, but I don't think I'm really strong enough for that. Maybe. Another day. Not to minimize my experience, but compared to some abuse victims, I got off fairly easy. I always want to help, but... well, I still have emotional limits, I suppose.

There's a bit more of this chapter of the story to complete, and some pages from it will be shown at the Minneapolis College of Art & Design's Faculty Biennial exhibition this fall. I'll keep you posted.

Tools for this page:

• Canson Bristol board
• Graphite stick, lead holder with 3B leads, Ticonderoga 2B classic pencil
• China marker/ grease pencil
  
• Windsor & Newton eraser, kneadable eraser
• Straightedges and T-Squares
• Dr. Martin's Black Star ink
  
• FW Artist's Acrylic white
• Photoshop

Next: Will I get out of the tub in time? Will I bleed to death as I pass out? Will an ambulance be called? Find out next week.

Original Art Sundays No. 294: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 32

 Wow, what a rough page! 

Every panel went through a dozen permutations. I tried collage, reversing, visual metaphors, tons of dialogue. Nothing was working. So it was back to the basics.

This page also has a strong emotional resonance. Or so I hope.

Well then.

Here's our heroine (me) taking a handful of prescription meds, washing them down with hard liquor, grabbing a sharp object and heading for the bathtub.

In terms of storytelling, I opted for pure image. Sometimes I think I rely too much on text. Let the pictures tell the story!

There's only two full face shot on this page, and even those are obscured partially. The intent here is to convey story and emotion through action.

Top tier is white on black. I used China marker for the background texture. Still finding balance between detail and solid fields of tone for backgrounds, as I go. Note that the second tier is black on white, again popping some of my reliable silhouettes. The bottom splash tier is pretty straightforward. I had some fun playing with textures on the tiling. I also took a few liberties. Our bathroom was nowhere near that big or nice!  I hope the little floating icons in panel 6 convey the effect of being slightly buzzed, as we used to say. I didn't want to overdo it, to drag the page into the realm of silliness.

I went through a lot of old, painful stuff preparing this page. I also debated its merits in larger terms. Self-harm is a real concern in trans and nonbinary communities, and deserves to treated as such. But there are a couple cautions associated with that. The first is the issue of "violence porn". I don't want to create a page where adrenaline junkies are getting their fix off my work. At the same time, I don't want to soft-pedal what's going on. 

The other issue is that although it's true, although it's a real concern, self-harm is in so many trans narratives that it's almost a cliche. I don't mean in any moral or empathetic sense, but just from a standpoint of storytelling. It feels like lazy storytelling, and it feeds into the uninformed cliches about who we are and how our lives work. It's also a common side effect of domestic abuse, both in trans and cis worlds.

So I think the answer is to just tell what happened, without aggrandizing or diminishing it, and trust that a discerning reader will see it for what it is- a rough moment in a bad part of my life, that should have been much better.

The usual tools:

• Canson Bristol board
• 2B, 3B and Ebony pencils
• Lead holder with 3B lead
• Kneadable eraser and Canson eraser
• Ames lettering guide
• Micron .02, .03, .05, 1.0 and brush tip
• Dr. Martin's flat black ink
• FW Artist's acrylic white
• Brushes: Richeson no. 6 synthetic, Kingart no. 4 sable/synthetic hybrid, Tight Spot for corrections
• Minimal Photoshop

Next: making the cuts.

Original Art Sundays No. 293: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p.31

 Here we go with a new page.

When we left our heroine, Curt was being nice. Who's taking odds on that continuing?

Notes:

This shows the emotional turmoil of being with an abuser. Here it's taking its toll. Things are all right, then they're not, for no apparent reason, and you're told it's your fault. We had one good night after I failed to have myself committed, then it got worse again almost immediately. Trans issues appear on this page as a matter of course.

There are 3 actions on this page. He leaves without a reason. I look out into the rain. I arrive at a conclusion. We'll see the result next week.

Layout considerations: still loving the ink wash for backgrounds and flexing my muscles, using it as a rain device. The head shot coming out of silhouette in the text heavy panel has just a hint of dry brush work, something else I love to play with.

This will need to be rescanned. For the moment, it serves. I need to get some pages together and spend a day rescanning, possibly over spring break next week.

We'll see. I treated myself to a new brush this week, and I'm pretty pleased with it!

Tools:

• Canson Bristol Board
• Lead holder and #3B leads
• Ticonderoga 2B pencil
• Tech pencil
• Kneadable eraser and Faber Castell dust free eraser
• Nib and holder
• Brushes: Blick 6 round synthetic, Richeson 777 Kolinsky (the new one!), beat up ancient Grumbacher no. 4, tight spot for corrections
• Micron Numbers .02, .03, .05, .08 and brush tip
• FW Artists Acrylic White and Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink

Next: Things get bad, really bad. Sorry, but they do.

Original Art Sundays No. 292: Arrowsmith sketch cover

 Hi, all.

I had a better idea for the next page partway into it. I was planning a single page gag filler, because I had a great one and haven't done one in a while.  But then I was re-reading Buseik and Pacheho's Arrowsmith: Behind Enemy Lines #1, and I noticed that there were almost no women in it. 

Busiek has written some very good stories with women in prominent roles, so I wasn't particularly offended by this. And it's been a while since I read the first series, so I didn't remember if this was addressed there. But since the copy I picked up was a sketch cover, I decided to give it a whirl.

 

Okay, I'm pretty happy with this. Just a #2 Ticonderoga pencil, a kneadable eraser and a bit of Photoshop tweaking. Photoshop was just levels and threshold, and some use of the Fade command, which I love. That's the whole tool list!

I thought about inking, or adding color, or putting in a background. But I enjoyed it so much the way it is, I decided to leave well enough alone. I had real fun drawing the little dragon! Not usually my thing, but once in a while...

I do enjoy these sketch covers, though I almost never buy floppies any more. 

Next: back to our story.

Original Art Sundays No. 291: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 30

 Once more into the breach, dear friends!

When we left our heroine, she was trying to get herself committed, thinking Curt might just be right about her.

Read on.

Well, that was unexpected.

It's important to remember that abusers can be really nice, positively charismatic, at times. That's how they keep you coming back, or sticking around. But when you're in the middle of it, you can't see it that clearly. All you see is the contradictions, which must, after all, be your fault.

Layout considerations: no dialogue necessary on the top tier. Let the poses and expressions do the talking. Second tier: pretty straightforward. Re-establishing shot, and tighter as the subject moves into the room. The outline indicating the absence of my Mother's painting that he thre away, always present.

Again, in facial expressions and body language. the reactions say more than words could.  I like the absence of a hard outline on the word balloon in panel 5.

Third tier: he's a Sphinx here. Sidebar: he could barely cook eggs, which is what we had for supper.

Again using wash, lines and solid black shapes to define background elements. I considered adding a wood texture to the door but thought better of it. I'm liking the wash backgrounds, but am cautious about getting into a rut.

Quick fairly clean page.

Tools:

• Canson Bristol Board
• Ticonderoga no.2 pencil, 3B lead in lead holder
• Triangle, T-Square and straightedge
• Micron Nos. .02, .03, .05, .08, 1.0 and brush tip
• Plastic watercolor palette
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte black india ink
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Nib and holder
• Princeton no. 10 synthetic brush, Blick no. 6 synthetic brush and Tight Spot for corrections
• Gum eraser and Faber Castell Dust Free eraser
• Just a touch of Photoshop

Next: closing in on the inevitable.

Original Art Sundays No 290: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 29

 Taking a break from Comics History class prep to post this week's page.

This one came together pretty quickly and went pretty well.

As you recall, Curt reluctantly agreed to therapy, provided he get tapes of the sessions to review afterwards for "inaccuracies and lies". Needless to say, this arrangement wasn't conducive to good therapy and led to this.

This is common in an abusive situation. Abusers take perverse joy in manipulating someone's thoughts, making them doubt themselves. Why are people so shocked after the fact to learn that it worked?

Again, aside from being a trans woman's story, no overt trans content on this page.

Lots to like about this page. Sometimes I really struggle with pages, but this one just fell together. The layout device is inspired by several things. I thought the story was getting a little claustrophobic, with all the interiors (physical and mental), and I wanted to break it up a little. It's also important to remind the reader that even in this confining situation, the rest of the world is still out there waiting. It makes the denial of the world to the abused all the more poignant.

I wanted to play with rendering parks in gray scale after reading Alison Bechdel's Secret of Superhuman Strength (which I'm teaching in Graphic Novel class this semester). And I'm not sure where I encountered the idea of slice panels inside a larger panel to imply a motion path, but I like it. The borders of the primary panel were rendered in pencil and drawn freehand with a brush tip marker, a device I used on A Private Myth about a hundred years ago.

The bottom tier is all about expression and pose. I always want more heavy blacks than I end up using in such situations, but it's working. Minimal Photoshop corrections on this one.

More and more, I'm coming to think of my poses and characters as Hitchcock actors. Hitchcock is famous for saying he trusted his actors would know to move and act like their characters. So it is with my art. I trust that as long as I give them my best, my characters will look and pose the way they should. A bit disingenuous, but useful. Trusting your own art is vital.

Tools used:red

• Canson Bristol Board
• Lead holder, tech pencil, solid lead #3B and Ticonderoga pencil #2
• Kneaded eraser and Faber Castell dust free eraser
• 10 well inking/watercolor dish
  
• Dr. Martin's Dark Star Matte black ink
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Brushes: Princeton #10 Round Synthetic, Blick #6 round synthetic, Renaissace Silver Sable #2 Cat's Tail
• Tight Spot Detailer for corrections
• Photoshop 2019
  

Next: closer to the main event.

Original Art Sundays No. 289: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 27

 As promised, here's a fill-in page to clarify some stuff from the last page.

After my page discussion, I will re-post the three pages in this scene in proper reading order. I should probably do that more often anyway. A week is a long time to wait to see what happens, and we all have full lives.

When the story left off, I had agreed to return to Curt. One of the things that came up was the possibility of therapy, which leads us to the events of this page, followed by the events of the page posted last week.

For this layout, I wanted the page to feel off balance, yet be legible. Hacking off the edges, first alternating, then both, seemed an effective tool to accomplish this. It's a straightforward dialogue page. I kept it visually interesting by just moving the "camera" in. I dropped Photoshop gradients in the first two panels. The astute reader will note the continued absence of my mother's art and the presence of a replacement guitar.

This page got really messy! I don't mean the art itself, though that was hit and miss. For some reason, the art itself got very smeared and dirty. A bit frustrating, since I didn't work it any differently than my usual process. Ah well.

I kept the facial expressions very simple. While I like complexity, my style does seem to lend itself to simplicity. No overt influences on this page, just telling the story.

Here are the three pages in proper order.

Well, I hope that clears things up. I don't often step back and look at the book in progress. It's actually helpful.

Not much brush work on this page. Tool list:

• Canson Bristol board
• tech pencil, #2B lead
• Ames Lettering guide
• Lead holder, #3B lead
• Good old Ticonderoga #2B pencil
• Straightedges, triangles, curves
• Micron pens .005, .02, .05, .08, 1.0 and brush tip
• Pen nib and holder
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte ink
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• Faber Castell eraser and kneadable eraser
• Blick #6 synthetic brush
• Tight Spot brush for corrections 
• Photoshop 2019

Next: a stroll through the park.

Original Art Sundays no. 296: Sharp Invitations: Curt, p. 28

 Here we go again...

The astute reader might notice that I skipped a page in numbering the story pages this week. Last week was p. 25, and this week is p. 27. I showed this page to a Beta reader whose opinion I respect highly. It made no sense to her. I realized that I left out a significant bit of exposition. I will do the missing page for next week. If I can manage it, I will do an extra page for next week as well. We're coming up on a crucial event or two, and it's vital to have things coherent, especially when reporting on an incoherent time. But I'm still eager to resolve this book.

When we left the story, I had agreed to return to Curt in the hope of entering couples therapy and healing our relationship. Read on.

So much to unpack here. First, layout and design considerations. I have wanted to do a reversed out page for some time, and having just finished Alison Bechdel's The Secret of Superhuman Strength, was also reminded of the device of overlaying slices on a master image. I don't think I've done that before, so like you think, you do. This is hand work as far as the reversal- just ink and ink and ink. I wanted to give a sense of the darkness of the time and of his bleakness. The slice panels may be a bit too simplistic, but I didn't want much detail on them. Some of my hand lettering went south in the third panel, so was redone in Photoshop. I considered redoing all the lettering digitally for consistency's sake, and decided against it.

One of the slice panels has a line texture background, and the others are washes. I don't want to overuse wash backgrounds as a crutch, but they work here. Simple guideline: larger panels, more detailed environments. Smaller panels, not so much. Next page (the missing page) will be three banner panels, so more of a chance to explore the environments. After the Curt chapter of this ends, there will also be a chance to draw some outside stuff. So much has been indoors!

Again, I've condensed some events for narrative flow, but everything I'm showing really happened. Him telling a therapist to drop dead was a shocker, even for him. Other than it happening to me, no overt trans content this week. 

One thing a lot of readers ask is why I went along with his demands. So many years later, I still don't have a good answer. I may never have an answer, other than primal emotions. He played on my fears of solitude and being undesirable, and I let him. No excuses, just fear and stupidity.

Pretty bleak, huh? Well, like I told a friend who was learning about this for the first time through this work, it gets a lot worse and then it gets better.

Tools for this page:

• Canson Bristol board
  
• Mechanical pencil
• Ames lettering guide
• Lead holder and #3B leads
  
• Kneadable and Faber Castell dust free erasers
  
• Pen holder and nibs (breaking in a new one - fun!)
• Misc. triangles, t-squares and straightedges
• Micron # .02, .03, .05, .08, 1.0 and Brush tip
• Dr. Martin's Black Star Matte Ink
• FW Artist's Acrylic White
• White colored pencil 
• Plastic paint palette for washes, 12 wells
  
• Brushes: Princeton Synthtetic  round No. 10, Blick Wonder White Synthetic round No. 6, Silva Renaissance Sable Cat Tongue No. 2, and Tight Spot for corrections

Again, the astute reader will note some small amendments to past tool lists. I allowed myself a small pilgrimage to the art supply store and was glad I did!

Next: the missing page, then on into the fray.